Changes Are A-Coming...

Lexie called me at work when she got home the other day and asked me this question: “Mom, can I have $325?” My obvious response was “For WHAT?” although my mind was already reeling with the possibilities here. Did my ten-year-old daughter have to bail a friend out of jail? What could a ten-year-old need that kind of money for? And why $325? Sounds like a pretty specific amount… Anyway, she then proceeded to tell me that her friend Kara was going to either Mexico or Texas for two days either during spring break or summer vacation, and that her mother said she could bring a friend if her friend paid her own airfare. Which Kara told her would be $325, apparently. She continued to say that EVERYTHING else would be paid for by her mother. But she had to know RIGHT NOW, Kara was waiting for her to call her back. This long-winded explanation was punctuated by the classic “PLEEEEEEEEASE????”

Ok, so here I am, at work, trying to make some sense of what I just heard. Because let’s face it, it made NO SENSE AT ALL. Mexico OR Texas? During spring break OR summer vacation? And the kicker – FOR TWO DAYS?? I explained to my precious daughter that no, I would not give her $325 to go anywhere. Before she managed to start the obligatory whining, I explained that I would talk to Kara’s mother and IF I got all the CORRECT details, I MAY consider it. But there was no way in hell I was going to agree to her little “trip” at this precise moment, and she could tell Kara that too. Besides, I pointed out, $325 was WAYYY too much to spend for her to be gone only two days. Leave for a month, I told her, and I’d be HAPPY to pay. (I was rewarded for this snappy comment with a heavy sigh, and, I imagine, an exaggerated eye-roll.) Regardless, she hung up and never called back to argue more.

As it turned out, I did talk to Kara’s mother, and there is no trip planned at all. Apparently, she had told Kara that MAYBE they would take a trip SOMEDAY, but certainly not this spring or summer. She apologized profusely, but I only laughed. Kids will be kids, and at least the two of them didn’t try to book a flight or anything. When I informed Lexie that there was no trip, can you guess how she responded? I bet not! She said, “That’s ok. I knew you’d never give me the money anyway.” (Ok, so she was probably right, but STILL!)

People tell me that this is only the beginning. That my wonderful, beautiful blonde daughter will soon turn into a sullen, nasty teenager. At first, I refused to believe it, but I’m starting to see the signs already. The cold shoulder. The eye-rolling. The defiant wearing of clothes that don’t match or don’t fit, and the arguments when I ask her to change. When we’re around other people, she is an angel. Heck, she is an angel at home (sometimes), too. But I’m never sure what little comment or action will set her off. When she DOES act out, though, she always apologizes shortly after the fact, so that’s good. But I never knew how insane a fifth grader could make me.

I remember all my life (even now, sometimes) my mother would get SOOOOO upset with me, and I’d innocently say “What? I didn’t DO anything! All I SAID was (blah blah blah)…” and she would reply, “It’s not WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it! LOSE the ATTITUDE and CHANGE the TONE!” I never understood what she meant, because I was deaf to my own attitude/tone. But now I do. Because her curse on me, you know, the infamous “I hope someday you have a daughter JUST LIKE YOU” curse, has come true. NOW I understand the whole attitude/tone thing. Because Lexie has it down to an art form already, and it makes me absolutely CRAZY!

Deep cleansing breaths. I know that we’ll be fine, because I am a cool mom (oh, shut up! I AM!) and besides, with just the two of us we are pretty darn close. I try really hard to keep the lines of communication open, and for now either of us has yet to receive a busy signal. So if some mouthiness and insolence is all I have to deal with, I’ll take it. But I’ll still brace myself for the worst, just in case. And, hey, there’s always boarding school.

In the meantime, I’ll keep watching the old home videos of my baby when she WAS a baby (well, 3 or 4 or 5, actually) and was cute and funny as hell. (Not that she’s not STILL cute, but you know what I mean.) I’ll have to remember to share some of the highlights of those in a future post, maybe when I am trying hard not to kill my angel for one thing or another. No one ever told me parenting would be such a challenge – but I think I’m up for it regardless. I know, I know, JUST WAIT!