The Beginning of the End, Part 20

I tried to ignore the fact that Marc continued to stare at me all night, even with Kevin in the room. Being high just made me more flustered, and finally I couldn’t take the friendly banter Marc and Kevin were tossing about anymore. I got up and went into the bathroom, turning the cold water on in the sink. I splashed my face and lifted my head to face the person in the mirror.

Looking back was a girl with disheveled bleached blonde hair, glassy blue eyes, and flushed cheeks. He must be nuts, I thought to myself. I sat on the toilet and tried to come down. Deep breaths. I closed my eyes, but I kept seeing Marc’s face. I tried to concentrate on something else, anything else, when a knock on the door made my eyes snap open.

“Babe? You all right in there?” It was Kevin, actually sounding concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied. “Just trying to come down. I really need to go to bed.”

“Well, Marc left, so you can come out and go to sleep if you want.”

Marc left. Thank God! I exited the bathroom and walked the few feet to the bed. Kevin was already lying on his side. I crawled in next to him and hugged my pillow. I just wanted to sleep, to forget this night had ever happened. And I did sleep, but the memory remained lodged in my brain.

The next morning when I woke up, I was careful not to wake Kevin as I got ready for my lunch shift. I was pretty sure Shelley was working, and really needed a girlfriend to discuss the situation with. Kevin didn’t budge as I re-set the alarm to wake him in time for his 2:00 shift, and I smiled as I watched him sleep. This was the man I loved. Not Marc. I felt a lot more confident about my true feelings as I walked to work. I managed to push Marc out of my mind entirely and even forgot about discussing things with Shelley.

When I finished my shift, I realized it was a little earlier than normal. If I hurried, I would be able to catch Kevin before he left for work. I quickened my pace and hummed to myself as I got closer to home. Last night’s encounter with Marc was all but forgotten. Until I reached home, unlocked the door and opened it to a sight that made my heart drop like a ton of bricks.

Marc was sitting on the chair at the desk with his feet resting comfortably on the edge. His face lit up when I walked in, and he swung his feet to the floor and leaned toward me. “Hey, Dasi, how was work?”

I blinked. Marc never came this early, and Kevin had to leave for work in ten minutes. Kevin. Where was Kevin? I turned toward the bed and it was empty. Schmauser was attempting to crawl under it, as if he wanted to escape whatever was going to happen. I turned back toward Marc just as the bathroom door opened.

“Hey! You’re home early!” Kevin came up and gave me a kiss, and then put his arm around me. “I’m glad, because even though I already said yes, you should probably hear it from me…”

I looked at Kevin in confusion. What the hell was going on?

“See, Marc got kicked out of his house last night. So I told him he could crash here for a while.”

WHAT? NO WAY! The voices screamed in my head. But not a word came out of my mouth. Marc smiled smugly, and even gave me a wink. “Looks like we’re roomies, Dasi,” he said, eyes twinkling.

Kevin gave me a peck on the cheek and grabbed his jacket. “See, Marc? I told you she’d be fine with it.” He looked at me and laughed. “Marc here thought you might be uncomfortable if he stayed.”

I smiled, the kind of ridiculous “who me?” smile that I felt would surely make Kevin suspicious. But Kevin was completely oblivious to everything.

“Anyway, I told him you’d be fine, I mean, we’re all friends, here, right?” With those parting words, he was gone. Leaving me alone in the room with Marc.

Marc came up behind me as I stared at the closed door. “He’s right, we ARE all friends…” he said, moving my hair away from my neck and softly kissing it.

The tingly feeling swept over my body and I sighed involuntarily. Marc took that as a signal to continue.

“So here we are, all alone… I’m not scheduled tonight, you’re done for the day… and Kevin is working till 10:00…” Another kiss. More shivers. “So what do you propose we do for the rest of the day?”

Against my better judgment, I turned to face him and brought my lips to his. We devoured each other hungrily, hands roaming and hearts pounding. I knew it wasn’t right, but it felt so good to be so bad…

After what seemed like hours but what was only minutes, Marc began to unbutton my shirt. I moved my hands over his. “No,” I mumbled through our kisses. “Marc, I can’t.”

“Sure, you can,” he responded. “Dasi, I love you. Kevin will never know. Not until we’re ready to tell him. I made you a promise, and I meant it.”

I shook my head and pulled away. “No, no, no. I can’t do this,” I said, trying to catch my breath. I turned my back to him and fixed the few buttons he had managed to undo.

Marc sighed. “So what, that’s it then? A few stolen kisses when he’s not around?”

I wanted to cry. Marc sounded so angry and hurt, but I couldn’t DO this. I wasn’t sure HOW I was feeling, but in my heart I knew that even if I did choose Marc, I would have to do things the right way.

“Marc, listen,” I said gently. “I care about you. Really. And, ok, there is DEFINITELY chemistry. But…”

“But you won’t leave Kevin.”

“This can’t happen again. You can stay here, but this CAN’T happen again.”

Marc nodded. “He’ll hurt you, you know,” he said bitterly.

I could see the frustration in his eyes. And it occurred to me that Marc didn’t necessarily want me, he just wanted someone. He was jealous of Kevin and a lonely soul. I bit my bottom lip and watched as Marc sank into the chair by the desk.

“He won’t hurt me,” I said quietly. “And if he does, I’m calling you to kick his ass.”

Marc looked up and chuckled. Then he shrugged. “Well, hey, you know where to find me…”

I felt the tension leaving the air as we both laughed. Then there was a moment of uncomfortable silence as we both avoided each others’ eyes. I decided to break it.

“You’re a great guy, Marc,” I said. “I really don’t want to lose your friendship.”

“You won’t,” he assured me. Then he stood up. “Think I’m gonna go out for a while.”

I watched him leave and sat down on the bed. I really didn’t think I needed to worry about him ever telling Kevin, and I knew I never would. Schmauser jumped up on the bed next to me, and I petted him absently.

“Hey, Schmau,” I said. “I hope I did the right thing…”