One More Time...

I know I promised a chapter, and I will deliver. But in light of the “breaking news” that I feel oh so strongly about, I couldn’t quell the intense NEED to organize my thoughts and post (for the third time) on this topic. I know there are many of you who don’t agree with my feelings, and that is good; the world would be a very boring place if everyone agreed on everything. And in the true spirit of blogging, I choose to continue to write on this subject and welcome any comments – both good and bad.

In case you hadn’t heard, Oprah invited James Frey back to her studio for a live broadcast today. It didn’t go very well for Mr. Frey. In fact, Oprah apologized to her audience and admitted feeling “duped” by Mr. Frey. I haven’t yet seen the broadcast, but the gist of it can be found here.

Kudos, Oprah. A little late, maybe, but I’m still glad she finally publicly acknowledged the fact that it is NOT ok to lie. Because too many people followed her lead and said “oh, it’s the publisher’s fault” or “his story was basically true” and guess what? That’s all bullshit. Since the initial “outing,” there have been several other instances of, shall we say, “creativity” unearthed in his book. Most of these he admitted to, some he still skips around. But what it all boils down to is that he had reverted back to true addict form. He lied. I think this journalist did an excellent job of explaining exactly why the whole thing is so maddening.

I agree with what he said. And unlike him, I have read the book, finished it yesterday, as a matter of fact. And guess what? I wasn’t that impressed. Maybe because of all the hype and the controversy surrounding it, maybe because I didn’t much get into his writing style, and in all honesty, I went into it a bit jaded. But as the aforementioned journalist said, it angered me that he is sending the message that you don’t need rehab, in fact, you don’t need ANYTHING, to get sober. You don’t need the twelve steps, you don’t need a Higher Power, all you need is yourself. Bullshit. “Hold on?” I think that is exactly what addicts are doing during the height of their addiction. “Holding on” to their addiction, to the belief that they have control, to the delusion that nobody knows about their problem, to the insane notion that how they are living is ok. It’s not until you LET GO that you begin your recovery. As a matter of fact, one of the big cliches in recovery is “Let Go and Let God.” So what made Frey think “hold on” was a good message to spread is a mystery to me.

I think his book was actually more well-received by people who never had an addiction, and never attempted recovery. Because they were easily led to believe that everything he said was a realistic view inside the life of an addict. What it turned out to be was a view inside the mind of an addict, and a creative one, at that. As a recovering addict myself, his actions in his book angered the hell out of me. Laughing at the counselors? Leaving Rehab and going into a bar? Ignoring all the rules? Not great ways to begin a sober life. Although he repeatedly said in the book how ashamed he felt, I got more of a “Wasn’t-I-Cool” machismo vibe from his writing.

My personal take on James Frey is that he simply is incapable of truth. Is he a good writer? Apparently so. A good fiction writer. As I’ve said before, I still don’t understand the reason why he felt the need to lie – as any addict can tell you, the truth is compelling enough without the exaggerations. In my story, you won’t read about any jail time (not for me, at least) or cops out to get me or holes in my cheek or anesthesia-free root canals. What you will read is my story as I remember it. I don’t want to embellish, because I don’t have to. If people don’t like it, I DON’T CARE. If I try to publish it, it will be as a novel “based on my life.” Because the only fact-checking will be in my head, and believe me I’m sure there will be plenty of details omitted or dates and people mixed up. I’m not trying to shock anyone or make myself a martyr, I’m just writing a personal story. And for the record – unlike Mr. Frey, I strongly recommend Twelve Step programs. Maybe not for life, but I know I never could’ve recovered without my support system and an organized recovery program. Like I said earlier, I was tired of “holding on” – I had to eventually “let go.”

I just really wish James Frey would do the same – stop “holding on” to his façade and come clean on every account. It’s a shame to see someone who had the power to really make a difference fall so hard. In my humble opinion, an honest apology and the admission of his ill-fated decision to stretch and rewrite the “truth” to his own benefit would be the best thing he could do for himself and the people who so desperately wanted to believe in him.

And on that note, I am done chronicling my thoughts on Mr. Frey.