RL Redux

Well hello there!! Good to see you all again! I can't believe I've neglected this poor blog for a full two weeks, but alas, it's true. I have been pathetically lax in my posting, and even though I did say that this would happen, I still feel guilty. The thing is, I have been insanely busy, and when I'm not busy... well, I really don't feel like writing. Which explains the lack of Chapters, as well. Hopefully I'll get inspired to continue on that in the near future, since I swore I would eventually finish. And start a second book. Lofty goals for one who is so cavalier about her writing, I know, but it'll happen...

Anyway, I am loving my waitressing job. Even though I am one of the old fogeys now. No one even invites me out after work on the weekends!! I mean, sure, I wouldn't go anyway, but it would be nice to be asked. Last night I was listening to the young servers (you know, all the twenty-somethings with no dependents...!) talking about who made out with whom, who got drunk and passed out, who was texting so-and-so in the middle of the night... it made me laugh. A lot. Because it reminded me of my old days at RL - and yes, fun days they were. But the reality is that pretty much all I believe I am capable of nowadays is listening to their escapades, rather than actually participating. Funny thing is, I bet their partying jaws would hit the floor if they knew even half of my stories... which I think I'll keep to myself for now. Maybe someday I'll go out for one night just to observe the species in their natural habitat. Could be fun.

Of all the managers in the restaurant, only one is older than me, and it's only by a few months. The others are all about ten years younger. THAT freaks me out. I've never worked for anyone younger than myself, and I kind of feel like "yeah, right, kiddo - like I'm going to listen to your young-ass" but then I remember that that young-ass is my boss. Very weird.

And? Lots of cute boys. So all my young cyber gal-pals should definitely come out and have dinner here at the RL in Schaumburg. Because I could be arrested if I indulge. Well, probably not, but they all seem like nice boys that I am wayyyyy too old for. Even the one who looks like Justin Timberlake.

Wait - WHAT? Did I say that there is a waiter in my RL who looks like Justin Timberlake? Yes, I did. And given my feelings for Justin, I was initally a bit distracted. Especially when a busboy splattered the back of his shirt with French dressing and he asked me, "Do I have dressing all over my back?" and I kindly wiped it all away with a damp towel. Hopefully he didn't notice the slight tremor in my aging hand. Because like Justin, he is all of 23, and I am too old to be playing with boy toys. (And I will continue to tell myself that until my twisted brain accepts it.) Anyway, the more I get to know the guy, the more I like him - in a strictly platonic way. I'm beginning to feel like the older sister (I refuse to say "mother" cause I'm not that old) of these youngsters, and I really hope they don't all think I'm this old lady geek trying to be cool, cause I'm so NOT. Like I have to try to be cool. Heh.

As far as my "real" job - well, I still don't know much. So I really have nothing to share. Except for this discovery I made recently - Satan has been living a double life. Seriously. And I think I will end this entry with proof of this...

Here is Satan as I know him:


And here is his Alter-Ego...

You be the judge...

Unexpected Changes

So yeah, I guess I have some issues that need to be addressed. I really shouldn’t post blogs without resolutions if I plan on being on “sabbatical,” sorry! So – I start training at Red Lobster tonight. I am actually very nervous since it HAS been almost 20 years (10 since actually waitressing) and I keep replaying horrible scenarios in my head, such as dropping things, getting too overwhelmed, or fellow employees hating my guts. Hopefully none of those things will happen, and training will go smoothly.

Second, the car. I went to see my Prince Charming Mechanic, and he checked out my engine (hee hee – that sounds kinky – but really, it was the car’s engine…). He told me it is running smoothly, and it is probably my O2 regulator, something that doesn’t even have to be addressed immediately. He said it may stall occasionally but it won’t hurt the engine or blow up or anything, and I could bring it back for him to check out at my convenience. That it’s probably just a matter of cleaning it out and sending me on my merry way. So I will probably do that in the next few weeks when I have time. And I will keep dreaming of the pretty new Toyota RAV4 I really really want to buy come tax return time.

My birthday was nice – quiet, but nice. No big bar bash this year. Pretty low key. My girlfriends from the bowling alley (AKA the “bowling moms”) took me to dinner on Friday and I was home by 11:00. Then on Saturday I went to dinner with my mom, my bro, and Lexie. Erik was a little under the weather, so my sis-in-law had to stay home with him. We had a really nice dinner at Harry Caray’s, and I even had a steak bone to take home for Cute Neighbor’s dog. Like I said, really low-key. But I think as I get older, I appreciate that more sometimes. Not really up for doing shots and puking all night, you know?

Believe it or not, Satan gave me a decent bonus on Thursday, which shocked the hell out of me (no pun intended). He sat me down and told me how much he appreciated all my hard work, and what a great job I was doing since M left. I was pretty pleased, and of course the extra cash came in handy big time. Then today he calls me back into his office to tell me that he may be closing the office in three months. I sat there with a frozen grin on my face – because he HAD to be kidding, right? Guess not. He has decided he wants to stop practicing, and has offered the other attorney J the opportunity to take everything over. Problem is, J may not be able to do so, financially or otherwise. Supposedly, Satan is still uncertain to the long term future, but assured me that no matter what, I would get either a three month notice or a three month severance if he closes and J doesn’t take over or doesn’t keep me on. Of course, he stressed that J would certainly want to keep me since I am such a stellar employee, but it depends on lots of unknowns at this point. “In two weeks, I should have a better idea of what will happen,” he tells me. Wonderful. So in two weeks, I can justify this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Apparently, J had no idea this was going to happen either. He is a super sweet, great guy who has two sons in college and a daughter in high school. I know this is totally stressing him out as well, and honestly? I have no clue if he would even WANT to own the practice. He told me he will keep me updated and be as up front as possible, which I appreciate. Now, in the big picture this should be a blessing in disguise, since I have said all along how much I can’t stand Satan etc etc., but there are other things to consider. First of all, I would never ever find another legal position close to home that paid what I make now. Satan may be an asshole, but he does pay well. So that would mean I would have to find a job downtown, which would kill my waitressing job since I’d never be back here in time to work at RL. Plus, it would be a real pain in the ass to be downtown and be so far from home. The ideal would obviously be for J to take over and for us to run the office together and work happily ever after, but I have this really bad feeling that he will wind up heading downtown as well.

Just what I need, right? New stress just when I think things are going my way. It figures.

And as far as “TBOTE,” I will make no apologies for the fact that I haven’t written a new chapter in a month. Know why? Because even though I realize it may someday be my bread and butter – it’s not right now and I seem to be having a bit of a problem focusing on things other than working and cars and money and bills. I will definitely write more chapters, but I can’t make any promises as to when at this point. Hell, I can’t even promise when my next regular post will be. Lord knows the writing is cathartic and I should do it more, but sometimes I just don’t have it in me.

So that is where dasi’s life stands right now. I figure in two weeks when I get more news, I may feel like blogging again (heh)… then again, based on the news, maybe not. But the least I can do is let you know my employment status so you all don’t worry too much (cause I KNOW you’ll worry, right??) so I promise to let you know as soon as I do what’s going on. And in the meantime, don’t forget about me – because in the words of Arnold “I’ll be back!”

Little Repair Shop of Horrors

So about my car…

I have a cute little 97 Saturn SC2. First car I ever bought ENTIRELY by myself – about five years ago. Aside from a few oil leaks (drips, actually. That left a yukky mess on the driveway, though) my little Saturn has treated me pretty well. Oh, except for the fact that the sunroof is permanently shut. Because it USED to be permanently open, and when I had to choose between the two, well… Of course, now if it rains torrentially, it DOES leak just a smidge on the passenger side from said sunroof… And the speakers are a little on the blown out side, I mean, I can hear the radio (or the CDs I play), but it’s more like listening to a transistor radio than a STEREO. BUT, with 113,000 miles, it still runs and it’s paid off and those are the two most important things, right?

Let’s continue. About a month ago, I drove out to a friend’s house which was about a 30 minute drive. We had a nice visit, then Lexie and I left. As we were driving, I thought “Hmmmm – I thought I had more gas than this,” but thought nothing of it and hopped on the highway to go home. We stopped at a gas station where I filled up the tank and thought “Hmmmmm – my car usually doesn’t take THIS much gas,” but again – blew it off. We stopped in a store and when we came back to the car, I noticed a pretty strong smell of gas. When we backed out of our spot, there was a HUGE puddle under where the front of my car was. I asked Lexie if she smelled gas too (yes) and if she noticed if said puddle was there before we parked (not sure). So I pulled into a different spot, sat a few minutes, and backed out again. SHIT! Another huge puddle. Obviously something was leaking. So, I drove home.

When I got home I decided to park the car on the street rather than in my driveway – you know, because it was leaking. Lo and behold, Cute Neighbor was outside with his girlfriend. I asked Cute Neighbor to look at my car and tell me what was leaking. Well, Cute Neighbor looked at it and freaked out, explaining my car had a leak in the gas line and I was lucky that it didn’t explode on the way home. That driving a car with a leak in the gas line is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS because any spark could ignite it. (Huh. Go figure. Good thing I quit smoking three years ago.) He told me I needed to have it towed right away to a repair shop and have it fixed. Since it was late Friday night, I figured I would wait until Saturday morning, and hope no one tossed a lit cigarette by my car before then.

So AAA came in the wee hours of the am and towed it to a shop we’ll call “Randy’s.” (Yeah, I know, I’m being pretty subtle, right??) I told Randy’s to fix the gas line leak, and while they were at it, to fix the oil leak as well, since my baby had been leaking oil for quite a while now. Not GUSHING oil, mind you, but enough to make a mess of my driveway over time. Had to rent a car for the weekend, and the long and short of it was that Randy’s had my car until the following Tuesday and the total bill was $1,236.31. After my nifty “$250 off” coupon, I paid $986.31. Pretty much a “Holy SH**!” moment, but what choice did I have? So I leave with my fixed car and am happy.

Temporarily.

Over the following weekend, I notice my car is smoking from the hood. I notice this as I am in stop-and-go traffic on the highway. And I ALSO notice something smells kind of off, but I’m not sure if it is my car or something outside my car. When I get home that night, I pop the hood and try to see if anything looks like it is burning, but all looks well. On Monday, there is more smoke and more smells. I call Randy’s and they tell me to bring it in, which I can’t because I have to work. They tell me to bring it in on Saturday so they can check it out for me. Fine.

On Tuesday, I have a thought. Maybe I’ll check the oil. Silly as I think that is, since they FIXED the oil leaks and just put FIVE QUARTS of oil in a week before. But I can’t help that nagging feeling… Sure enough, bone frickin’ dry. I buy five more quarts, put two in right away, and stash the rest in my trunk. Then I call Randy’s again, and explain the situation. What do they tell me? “You’d better put oil in it right away, then!” DUH! I tell them I did, but that there must STILL be a leak, and so I plan on putting in a quart at a time until Saturday.

Saturday comes, and I drop off the car again. This time when they call back, they explain that they made a mistake, and they needed to install a new oil thingamgiggy which they didn’t do at the first visit. That since it was their fault, they wouldn’t charge for labor, only for the part. Which was $600.00, give or take. As I feel my chest constrict, I manage to spit out – “Ok, do what has to be done.”

About 20 minutes later they call back. “How long was your car running without oil?” they accuse. “I don’t know!” I retort. “I mean, you DID just put FIVE QUARTS in and had SUPPOSEDLY fixed the leaks, so until I checked it on Tuesday, I had no idea it was even low!! WHY WOULD I???” This was a lead in for the next bombshell – my engine was shot. And I needed a new one.

Before my mind wrapped itself around that information, I was quickly assured that since they made the mistake, I wouldn’t be charged for the new (rebuilt) engine or the labor for that either, but it would take about a week. I would only be paying for any upgrades and that $600 oil thingamagiggy. Whatever – do it. What choice did I have?

So a week later, I return the rental car (oh, yes, they paid for that baby) and pick up my “like new” car. With my “like new” engine that has (supposedly) 40,000 less miles on it than my old one. Like they were giving me this huge gift or something. I paid the new bill to the tune of $642.62 (“Boy, we really kept your bill low!”) and left.

Next day? The damn car stalled. Three times. And had NO pickup at all. AND? The “Service Engine Soon” light came on. Instead of going back to Randy’s immediately, I called a friend whose husband is a mechanic. I drove it out to him, he said he couldn’t see anything wrong with it, but that he didn’t have any diagnostic equipment either. He suggested trying some fuel injector cleaner. Did that, didn’t help. So what choice did I have? I called back Randy’s.

Their response? “You’d better get it back in as soon as possible so you don’t ruin our engine!” Wait a minute – YOUR engine??? PUH-LEASE!!! Brought it back last night, rented another car (this time on my own dime) and got a call this morning. “Well, it’s not our engine,” (again with the OUR ENGINE BS) he tells me, “It’s your EGR valve and O2 sensor. You need those taken care of right away. Now, I called on the part, it runs about $700, but tell you what, I’ll give you a $200 discount.” WHAT?????? I told him (in a freakishly high panicky stressed out voice) that I had NO money left and I couldn’t AFFORD $500. And how could those things have “suddenly” gone bad? I never had problems before!

He explained that it was an emmissions thing, and that “these things happen” with older cars. But they had nothing to do with it. I told HIM I just had my emmissions test and my car passed with flying colors. But he insisted that was the problem. I told him not to touch my car and I would call him back.

After calling both my parents and my brother and crying and panicking and thinking irrationally, I finally called another mechanic that my friend had told me about. And guess what?

He laughed at me.

He told me Randy’s was notorious for that kind of crap and I was lucky to get the engine out of them. He told me there was no way an EGR valve would cost $500, and besides, if I was planning on only keeping the car a few more months, there was no need for a new one. He told me he could clean out the carbon in ten minutes and not even charge for it – that all I needed was for the car to run smoother, right? And he also asked if I could bring the Randy’s receipts for him to look at, because he never heard of any oil thingamagiggy that cost $600.

He said that IF there is anything that does absolutely, positively need to be fixed, he’ll take care of it, but he doubts it is anything that would run even near $100. That even with a messed up EGR valve, the car may be annoying to drive since it stalls, but it won’t blow up or ruin the engine in the few months I plan on keeping it. So I am getting my car from Randy’s tonight after work and bringing it to my Car Mechanic Prince tomorrow morning at 8:00 am. I don’t even know this guy, but I think I love him.

Oh, and? When I called Randy’s to tell them to leave my car alone, I’ll pick it up tonight, they again warned how “serious” this is. And how they offer “90 days same as cash” plans. Yeah, I bet. Well, guess what, Randy’s? You’ve taken enough of my money. And you’re not getting another penny. I’M SO SORRY, CAR!!! Let’s hope my prince comes through.

Feeling Helpless

First of all – yay! – I got the job. I have orientation tonight and start training next week. Which is awesome, since Saturday is my birthday and I have plans for both Friday and Saturday nights but didn’t want to start off the new job saying “by the way…” I’m a little nervous, since I haven’t done any actual waitressing for like, oh, ten years or so, but I’m pretty sure it’s like riding a bike (something else I haven’t done in ten years or so – bad analogy for me, I guess!). In any case, keep your fingers crossed for me, because I need the extra cash to save for a new car. What? Why do I need a new car, you ask?? Next blog, I promise. Because today I have something major on my mind.

I’m sure all of you out there have someone special in your life. Not necessarily a significant other, I’m talking about someone (be it a relative, friend, co-worker, etc.) who you just click with – someone you can talk to about anything, someone you know will ALWAYS be there for you when you need them and vice versa. Someone who can make you laugh when you are pissed off at the world, and someone you can make laugh as well. Someone you just know would never judge you, who you feel so damn comfortable with you know you would be lost without. Maybe you see and talk to that person all the time, maybe not as much as you’d like, but either way, just knowing they are out there is sometimes enough.

Now imagine that person taking a loaded gun and putting it to their head in a game of Russian Roulette.

I apologize for the harshness of this – but it needs to be said. My someone special (who I know is reading this) is doing just that. And I can’t even bring myself to think of what my life and the lives of the rest of her family and friends will become when she loses the “game.” Which is what it is to her right now. She may not have an actual gun to her head, per se, instead she is messing with her heart. And not in the emotional sense, either. Her doctors have been asking – no, begging – her to have additional tests run… saying she is at risk of a major heart attack or stroke if she doesn’t find out what is going on with her ticker. She’s already had one scare, and I’m so afraid the next one will be much more than just a scare.

Right now, her excuse is that she wants to wait until her husband has his procedure – not too far off, but with the heart, every second counts. And as serious as his procedure is, even the doctors say her condition is much more serious and life-threatening.

But I know what the problem is. She is scared. No, she is terrified. And she should be. Although she shouldn’t be afraid of finding out what is wrong, she should be afraid of what will happen if she doesn’t. I love her so much, it is killing me knowing that she would rather hide than face reality.

And it is pissing me off. Because she is being selfish, too. She is putting her fears ahead of her health and totally disregarding everyone else’s fears – the fear that she will die if she doesn’t listen to the doctor. And you know what? To me, that is just as bad as suicide. If you ignore the medical help being offered and just wait for that one twinge, or that one gasp for breath – you are in essence just slowly killing yourself. And guess what? Been there, done that. Thought about it, tried it, changed my mind. Know why? Because I couldn’t imagine how the people left behind would deal. Yup, conceited me thought my loved ones might be a bit upset at my passing – and thank God I chose that moment to start being a bit more unselfish. When I think of all I would’ve missed had I succeeded twenty-some odd years ago… It gives me the chills. And makes me a lot less tolerant of people who think they don’t matter and would be better off gone.

I don’t know what to say or do to convince her to listen to the doctors, get the tests run – do whatever they say. She is a grown woman and has her own mind and can make her own decisions. But for me, it’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m waiting for a phone call telling me she is in the ER, or worse, the morgue. And I can’t even imagine dealing with that – now or ever. I know eventually I probably will, but what’s the rush? I’m expecting at least a good twenty or forty more years together – and if we make it much past that, then we can find our cliff.

I love you so much. But dammit – you know you can’t jump without me.