The Beginning of the End, Part 25

Kevin and I walked next door to the casino to get a cab. We sat in silence, and even the cab driver seemed to sense the tension. I could feel my stomach churning in anxious anticipation with every block that we drove. What if I couldn’t ID the guy? What if my memory wasn’t as clear about his appearance as I thought? What if he got away with what he had done?

When the cab came to a stop, I got out almost too fast, anxious to get inside. Kevin paid the driver, and then took my hand as I stood staring at the official-looking building, trying to catch my breath.

“It’s ok,” he assured me.

I bit my lip and nodded. Then we made our way inside.

The station wasn’t what I had expected, it was relatively quiet, with not many people around. We approached the desk, and the sergeant looked up. “We’re here to see Detective Jones,” I said, trying to be calm.

He nodded at us to take a seat as he reached for his phone. Almost before he hung up, the Detective came walking through a metal door in the rear of the building. His eyes were kind, and he flashed a welcoming smile our way. He held out his hand to me and then Kevin as we stood.

“Thanks for making the trip down here. There aren’t many women who bother, believe it or not,” he said, looking at me pointedly.

I shook my head. “I won’t let him walk,” I said flatly. “No way.”

“Good,” he replied. “If you’ll follow me, I need you to look at some photographs and then I think the State’s Attorney would like to speak to you.”

“Photographs?” Kevin questioned. “What about a lineup? Wouldn’t that be better?”

Detective Jones hesitated. “Unfortunately, Mr. B, that isn’t possible.”

“Why?” I asked. “I can handle it, really.”

He opened the door to a medium sized room with a large table in the center. On the table was a notepad, a pen, and several manila folders. He held out a chair for me to sit in, and Kevin sat next to me. Then he walked around the table and sat across from us both. He folded his hands in front of him on the table and looked me directly in the eye.

“Although I’m sure you can handle it, Ms. S, it’s not possible because the suspect has been released on bail this morning.”

My heart froze in my chest. Kevin exploded. “What? Why? How can you release him before she’s even ID’d him? If this is the guy, HOW COULD YOU HAVE LET HIM WALK?”

“Calm down, Mr. B,” the detective said with a look. “As I mentioned before, the legal system is complicated. We can’t hold anyone indefinitely, they are given the right to bond out until their hearing date. Even if this is the perp, we couldn’t hold him if he can afford to bail out. The only charges we were able to bring him up on initially were for disturbing the peace, since we couldn’t legally hold him for an assault until he has been identified. Once he is, though, we can go back and arrest him a second time. But again, he can bail out if he has the money.”

He looked down at the files on the table and opened one up. While reading one of the reports, he continued.

“It looks like he definitely is our guy, though, based on some interviews we were able to take at the scene. He told us nothing himself, and wasn’t very cooperative, which is how he wound up with the other charges. But several other people there gave us pretty good insight - the party, the people, certain events you described…” He broke off and looked up at me. “Tell me, is this the man who assaulted you?”

I squeezed Kevin’s hand as I looked down at the picture in front of me. I felt the blood drain from my face as the memories attacked me all over again. Shut up, bitch! Shut up, bitch! I looked down to see the name of the person who had hurt me, a name I would never forget. Morcos Magana. Even the name sounded evil to my ears. I nodded at the detective and turned my head so he wouldn’t see the tears that threatened to spill.

I heard him pick up the picture and put it back into the file. “That’s all we need.” He picked up the file and stood. “If you have a few minutes, I think the State’s Attorney should be right in,” he said.

“Yeah, we’ll wait,” Kevin said gruffly, rubbing my shoulder absently.

I regained my composure and looked up at Detective Jones. “You’ll arrest him again, now, right?”

He gave a curt nod. “You’d better believe it,” he replied. “You’re a brave woman, Ms. S. People like this guy need to be put away.”

I laughed slightly. I didn’t feel brave, just angry. And scared. And hurt. I didn’t want this monster to hurt anyone else the way he hurt me.

The door shut quietly behind the detective and Kevin and I were alone. “So, they’re going to get him,” he said.

“I know,” I replied.

“And if they don’t, I will,” he said with defiance.

I smiled at his bravado. “Oh, I don’t doubt it.”

The door opened again, and a young woman in her late twenties walked in. She was dressed smartly in a gray pinstripe suit and carried a briefcase. She reminded me of all the DA’s you see on tv, except this was for real.

“I’m Nancy Lewis,” she said, extending her hand.

I shook it with a tentative smile, not feeling the need to introduce myself. Her voice was warm, but strong. I could sense that she was a good person to have on my side.

Rather than sitting across the table like Detective Jones, Nancy Lewis sat in the chair next to me. She turned her chair and leaned toward me. “First of all, call me Nancy,” she said.

“Ok,” I agreed. “And you can call me Dasi.”

She smiled. “Fine. Dasi.” She took a deep breath and her smile disappeared. I suddenly became very nervous, because her demeanor was so serious.

“I need to tell you, I am on your side. I will do everything I can to put this bastard away. But it is going to be a difficult process, especially for you.”

I nodded. “I understand.”

“Do you?” she asked. “Dasi, when we go to the preliminary hearing, the defense attorney is going to basically assault you all over again. He is going to do everything in his power to make you look like a drunken, drugged out slut who was asking for it.”

I blinked, feeling sick to my stomach and too shocked to say anything. But Kevin wasn’t.

“Wait just a minute!” he yelled. “You’re supposed to be HELPING her! How dare you imply that this was her fault? How dare you?”

Nancy looked at him calmly, in stark contrast to his rage. “First of all, if that is how you are going to react in the courtroom, I suggest you not come. Secondly, I never implied anything. I am simply telling you how the defense is going to build its case.”

Kevin didn’t respond.

She reached out and took both my hands in hers. “Dasi, I know what you have been through has been the worst kind of nightmare. But I am here to tell you that you may have to relive that nightmare over and over again, and you may have to subject yourself to personal questions that attack your morality, that question your honesty and your role as a victim. Sexual assault trials are never easy. But once we get past the preliminary hearing, and go to trial, it won’t be as bad. If we can prove that the assault occurred in the preliminary hearing, and it gets held over for trial, we may even be able to avoid that trial altogether with a plea bargain.”

Shut up, bitch! Shut up, bitch!

The anger swelled up inside me and my heart pounded. “I want him put away,” I whispered. “I'll do whatever it takes.”