Welcome to My Nightmare

I was going to write about my love for American Idol, but Hope beat me to the punch. And she did a good job of it, too. So instead of repeating what she so eloquently wrote, you can check it out here. One thing I DO want to say, though, is that I, too, am thoroughly amazed at the vast number of people who truly believe they can sing well. And are so pathetically WRONG. 10,000 people and only 30-something through to Hollywood from my home town? I am embarrassed.

Anyway. I am having trouble concentrating today because of a HORRIBLE nightmare I had last night. Or should I say, this morning. Because it woke me up exactly two minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off. I dreamt that I was at what appeared to be a college campus, or something, in a large room discussing with some of my cousins a scheduled outing to some sports event. I was getting irritated with them, because they wanted to go to whatever it was we were going to when it was still cold out, and I wanted to wait until it got warmer. In any case, I decided I had to use the bathroom, which was in a different building.

So I walked outside and it was really dark and REALLY cold, which made me hold my coat closed up around my neck. I turned the corner and came to the sidewalk that led up to the building I was looking for. On my left was the wall to another building, on my right was a line of heavy bushes from the beginning of the sidewalk almost to the building. Across the quad there were two little kids, telling some adult that “he went right in THERE” and pointing in my direction. I started to walk down the sidewalk to the building, and about 50 feet away on my right saw a young woman holding books look my way with a stunned expression. And the next thing I know, a man jumps out of the bushes and grabs me from behind. He has to have been pretty big, because he physically had me lifted practically off the ground, holding me around the waist and pinning my arms to my sides while I still held onto my coat collar. I was screaming and screaming and trying to struggle, but I couldn’t. And he was dragging me away and I couldn’t break free.

I woke up with my heart pounding and the blood rushing in my head. It was like I still had an adrenaline rush going. And since the sun wasn’t quite up yet, it was still dark, so it took me a minute to get my bearings and realize it was just a dream. But let me tell you, IT FREAKED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. For whatever reason, I can still feel the incredible terror and this guy’s arms around me. (Shudder!)

I looked up dream interpretations once I was at work (when Satan wasn’t looking) and I found out a couple things – first, if you dream you are being attacked, there are “questions on your character and the need for you to defend yourself. You are feeling stressed, vulnerable, and helpless. You also may be faced with difficult changes in your waking life.” Bushes apparently represent “feminine emotions and desires” (heh). Also, “To have a dream that takes place at night, represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. There are some issues in your life that you are facing that are not too clear. You should put the issues aside so you can clear your head before coming back to it.” Dreaming of cold “indicates you are experiencing a breakthrough in some area of your life. Alternatively, you may be feeling isolated.” It can also be “a result of your immediate environment in which you are really feeling cold.” (Duh! I’ve been keeping the heat lower than normal!) The college scenario represents going through “some social or cultural changes” and that “now is a good time for you to experiment and try new things.” Finally, feeling terror in your dreams “forewarns of disappointments and loss.”

Ok. So according to the above interpretations, I’m having some feminine needs and desires but am feeling stressed, vulnerable and helpless. My goals are not being achieved yet, and issues in my life aren’t clear. I need to FORGET about these issues so they can BECOME clear. I’m either having a breakthrough or feeling isolated – or maybe I just need to turn my heat up a notch. And although it is supposedly a good time to experiment and try new things, if I do I’ll probably face disappointments and loss. Hmmmmm.

Know what? I don’t care about the interpretations. It still scared the shit out of me. And it had BETTER not become one of those recurring things. Sometimes I wish I DIDN’T remember my dreams so clearly, you know??