DIVORCE DIVORCE DIVORCE

Ok, so I realize that this is the second day in a row I am writing my opinion on something written by someone else rather than being original and witty myself, but after you read this article, I think you will let my unoriginal posts slide.

NEW DELHI - A Muslim couple in India has been told by local Islamic leaders to separate after the husband “divorced” his wife in his sleep, the Press Trust of India reported.

Sohela Ansari told friends that her husband, Aftab, had uttered the word “talaq,” or divorce, three times in his sleep, according to the report published in newspapers on Monday.

When local Islamic leaders heard of the sleep talking, they said Aftab’s words constituted a divorce under an Islamic procedure known as “triple talaq.” The couple, married for 11 years with three children, were told they had to split.

The religious leaders ruled that if the couple wanted to remarry they would have to wait at least 100 days. Sohela would also have to spend a night with another man and be divorced by him in turn.

The couple, who live in the eastern state of West Bengal, have refused to obey the order and the issue has been referred to a local family counseling center.

India’s minority Muslim population is governed by Islamic personal laws on issues such as marriage, divorce and property inheritance.

“This is a totally unnecessary controversy and the local ‘community leaders’ or whosoever has said it are totally ignorant of Islamic law,” said Zafarul-Islam Khan, an Islamic scholar and editor of the Milli Gazette, a popular Muslim newspaper.

“The law clearly says any action under compulsion or in a state of intoxication has no effect. The case of someone uttering something while asleep falls under this category and will have no impact whatsoever,” Khan told Reuters.

Ok, all together now: WTF??? Can you imagine the divorce rate in the US if that was all you had to do? "You SOB!! You left the toilet seat up again!! DIVORCE DIVORCE DIVORCE!! Now get the hell out!!"

It would be a pretty big blow to divorce attorneys, as well. And also, it could open the door to guilt-free adultery. Because did you notice? The divorce-ee has to sleep with someone else before they could marry their ex again, if they wanted to, that is, but they would still have to wait 100 days before the remarriage. Which means, technically, 100 days of freedom.

Heck, I would seriously consider doing the whole "triple talaq" thing at least once a year. Just to keep things interesting. Think about it - no lawyer fees, no court dates, and no punishment for acting on your fantasy about the hot person you see every day on the train... then after 100 days, just go back to your ex. "Sorry, hon. I'm back. Next time I'LL say it and YOU can sleep around."

Man, I think this would be the ideal for commitment-phobes. Like me. Maybe I should convert. I'll have to check with my downstairs neighbors on this subject. Wait - I forgot - I hate curry. Damn, I wonder if you have to like curry to convert and be allowed to do the whole "triple talaq" thing? And I wonder if I would have to marry a fellow Muslim? Things to ponder, I guess...