Living in Fear

Last night I was watching “I Love the 80’s” on VH1 and thoroughly enjoying myself. When those kind of shows are on, I always try to watch them, since I spent most of my youth in the 80’s and therefore have pretty good memories from that decade. And, as I’m sure my brother will tell you, I am still a big fan of most of the 80’s music (I just can’t help myself). Anyway, here I am, watching this show and laughing out loud at some of the things they are talking about. My daughter is just kind of watching with an “Oh-my-God-this-is-so-weird” look on her face. Aside from the fact that they sang the damn “Monchichi” song and it is now playing over and over and OVER in my head, it was a good show. But there was one segment that made my daughter REALLY laugh, and made me really think.

The segment was on BMX bikes, and all the “tricks” kids used to do on them. Now, I personally never owned one, since they were pretty much a guy thing. But I DO remember them well. My memories pretty much mirrored what they showed on VH1 – a bunch of idiots riding their bikes on railings, stairs, ramps etc. and MAJORLY wiping out. As we all know, falling is funny, especially when it’s not YOU. So here’s me and Lexie, laughing our butts off, and in between laughs, she asks me, “Why aren’t they wearing helmets?”

Hmmm. Good question. And the answer? I have NO frickin idea. But as a kid, I NEVER wore any type of “safety gear” while riding a bike. Ever. Nor did I wear any while attempting to skateboard. Or while roller skating on the sidewalk in cheap metal skates. And sure, I fell my share of times, but we had Bactine and Band-Aids, so everything was copascetic. NOW, on the other hand, if you don’t automatically purchase the helmet/knee pads/elbow pads combo when you buy a kid’s bike, you get that “look” from the sales clerk. You know, that “you must be a really crappy parent” look.

And carseats. In Illinois, the new law states that kids up to the age of EIGHT have to ride in a carseat. Can you believe it? I’m soooo glad that law went into effect after Lexie’s eighth birthday, because I can’t imagine trying to convince her to ride in a carseat as a third grader. How humiliating. Now, I still have wonderful memories of riding in between my mom and dad UNBUCKLED in the FRONT seat of dad’s hard-top GTO when I was like three. Oh, and? Mom held my infant brother on her lap. And no one EVER told her she was a bad parent. To top it all off – both my brother and I are both alive and well and no worse for the wear after spending our childhood riding in the front seat.

Now, I realize that auto accidents are serious business (I work in an injury law firm, after all), but I really think that society has been going way overboard in regards to safety. Even as far as airbags. Have you ever seen what those things can do to people? First of all, they can actually KILL a child or small-boned adult. They can also cause major contusions and serious burns. Which, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t that bad if you would’ve wound up, say through the windshield or something, but if you’re in a fender bender and those things go off, you’re screwed. Now, I don’t think airbags were invented when I was a kid. And guess what? I’m still alive. As far as car accidents are concerned, I think the easiest way to be safe and not die is to DRIVE RESPONSIBLY. Everyone, that is. (Yeah, like THAT will ever happen!)

Another thing that drives me nuts is when you hear on the news that “such and such” will cause cancer. In laboratory rats, at least. And anything not “natural” is horrible for you. So don’t drink diet pop, don’t chew sugarless gum (yes, sugar is bad for you, but aspartame and phenylalanine are WORSE!!), don’t eat meat or veggies or fruit unless they are “organic…” the list goes on and on.

Oh, and music. And video games. While I am the first to admit that I do believe some of these lyrics are a bit out of control, I’m not too keen on total censorship, either. And I definitely don’t believe kids kill each other or steal or do drugs based on what they listen to or watch on tv or play on their X-box. Sure, some of this stuff may be “shocking” to adults, but kids enjoy it. Because kids are designed to rebel and piss off their parents, and usually they outgrow it. A video game is just a game, and people need to stop getting so wound up over things like that.

When I was growing up, I was allowed to play with my friends outside, running all over the neighborhood unsupervised. When it started to get dark, we all went home. And walked right into the house, because the doors were never locked. We kept windows open while we slept, even on first floor bedrooms. Things were so much more uncomplicated then.

Now, we live in a world ruled by fear. And that sucks. People are afraid to look at other people while driving. People are afraid to let their kids play outside. People are afraid – so they buy huge deadbolts for their doors and ignore their neighbors. People are afraid of pain, so they buy helmets and kneepads and drugs designed to “stop symptoms BEFORE they start.” People are afraid to give kids “ideas” so they protest violent video games or sexy songs. People shelter their kids to the point that these kids grow up unwilling to take risks, afraid of their own shadows. Kids who won’t speak up or be independent.

Well, guess what? Not me. Yes, I will follow the laws of “child restraint” while driving. Yes, my daughter will wear a helmet on her bike if she is riding anywhere outside the complex. No, my daughter will not have a restricted diet of “all-natural” anything. No, my daughter will not be banned from certain music or television or games. I am trying to teach her to make her own decisions based on what’s right and wrong – not by fear. I want her to be a strong young woman and learn from her mistakes, and if she scrapes a knee in the process, so be it.

I’ve got Bactine and Band-Aids.