It's a GARAGE SALE, People!!!

So this past weekend, my condo complex had an all-complex Garage Sale. Every year they do it, but since I moved in, I never participated. It wasn't that I didn't have anything to sell, it was just that I was lazy and sometimes wasn't even in town the weekend it was going on. But this year, I got the brilliant idea to sign up "just in case." Which lead me to clean out my closet last week - and let me tell you, it was no easy task!! I never took physics in my life, but I am pretty sure that the mass is not supposed to be more than the space it is in. Which means that all the crap I found in my closet technically should not have fit in there in the first place. I'm not kidding - I had like three MONSTER piles - stuff for the garage sale, stuff for the garbage, and stuff to go BACK in the closet. Everyone who saw the piles agreed that there is really no logical way it all fit in there in the first place. So I am thinking that maybe one day I will check out the back wall a little more closely and maybe spend the weekend in Narnia or something. (And for those of you who don't know what the hell I am talking about - go ask someone who reads C.S. Lewis.)

Anyway. So now I have a ton of junk to sell, and I also figured this may be a good way to get rid of all the Tastefully Simple products I have left over from when I was a consultant. So I'm figuring that if I make $20 I'll be happy, since when you start with nothing, anything is good. Besides, getting money for crap you were just going to throw out anyway is a positive, right? So my haul consisted mostly of some old clothes of Roxy's, books, stuffed animals, my broken digital camera, an old VCR, a couple box fans, and assorted other stuff. My plan was to do the whole garage sale thing Saturday morning, and probably end early since I had to drive Roxy to Michigan that day too.

When I woke up, I started dragging my "items" downstairs to the garage/driveway. My garage isn't exactly clean and roomy, so most of the stuff had to be set up in the driveway. And it wasn't a sunny and clear day. In fact, it was positively ominous looking outside. But since we hadn't had rain in like a zillion years, I figured the odds that it would actually rain TODAY were not good. (Of course, we were talking LUCK here, of which we all know I don't have much of, so I was waiting for those first raindrops to start hitting my books.) Anyway, as I am setting up, at EIGHT-FIFTEEN AM, when this stupid sale is scheduled to start at NINE O'CLOCK, the old biddies start swooping in like vultures. "ARE YOU OPEN YET??" I couldn't believe it. Here I am, dragging crap out of my garage and trying to set up - does it LOOK like I am "open?" Of course, I say yes, and let them start rifling before I even have price tags on anything. Thankfully (or not?) they don't find anything they feel inclined to buy, so I am left alone to finish my set up. But several other die-hard garbage-pickers, I mean, garage-sale shoppers, wander up and rummage through things literally AS I am setting them up. Un-freaking-believable. Finally, I manage to get everything out, and I sit down in my little chair and take a breath. I am sweating bullets, I am crabby, I am tired, and OF COURSE, it is now starting to rain.

I somehow manage to move everything either to the very front of the garage (which is the only area with any room) or under the front porch awning (thank God my neighbors weren't doing this too!). Then it gets busier. The first thing I realize is that all my price tags are pretty much pointless. People know how much they are going to spend, and it usually is way less than what you want. I really don't think any of them even LOOK at the price tags. And the worst thing is that since I was hot, tired, crabby, AND wet at this point, I was in no mood to bargain. So if something had a pretty little price tag that said $4 and someone said "I'll give you $2" - I said "Fine." So I wasn't about to get rich. But at least I had $2.

Then this guy comes up and asks about the camera. The BROKEN digital camera, which I told him had been dropped and didn't work, but may be able to be fixed. I had priced it at $7 (not bad for a $200 camera, broken or not, I figure) and OF COURSE, this guy says "I'll give you $4." "Fine," I say. For the millionth time that day. Which should've been the end of it. But this MORON starts asking where the accessories are. Why I don't have any of the CABLES with it. Then he opens the battery compartment and asks where the batteries are. Didn't it come with rechargable batteries? I told him, yes, when I bought it it did, but I took out the batteries to use with my NEW camera. So he goes to his car and gets some batteries, inserts them, and presses "power." "Well, the light goes on, but it's broken," he says. I looked at him in confusion. "And you DON'T even have any of the ACCESSORIES with this camera," he adds accusingly. At this point, I have several Spanish-speaking ladies asking me about "ropa" (which I am pretty sure are clothes, especially since they are holding up Roxy's old sweaters) and another woman asking if she could have a Bacon Bacon for $2 (NO!!!!). So I turned to the guy, took a deep breath, and said (through gritted teeth) "Look, you just gave me FOUR DOLLARS for a digital camera that cost TWO HUNDRED new. NO there are no accessories, NO there are no batteries, it is AS IS, and if you DON'T want it, I'll give you your FOUR DOLLARS BACK!!!" So he shrugged, and walked away - with the camera. (At least I didn't have to give him his $4 back)

The rest of the day was uneventful, as garage sales go. What DID surprise me was that nobody even bothered with the books. I had some really good books there, too. I had Stephen King, Danielle Steel, Jackie Collins, Elmore Leonard, Carl Hiassen, Nicholas Sparks... all hardcover - and only $2. But apparently all these people wanted was junk, not good stuff. Whatever. I think I'll take them to a used book store like my brother suggested. Unless someone else wants them. (Send me a comment - maybe I'll send them to YOU!!)

So all told, I raked in a little over $100 - not bad considering I was just going to toss the stuff. But I highly doubt I'd do it again. I think my people skills aren't good enough to deal with garbage-pickers (excuse me, "garage sale people") and honestly, it's not worth the stress.