Is He In Jail?

Sometimes when I am sitting at my desk supposed to be working, I am actually surfing the net and basically being totally unproductive (surprise surprise). Of course, I always get the work done that I need to get done, it’s just that every now and then I need a little detour. Maybe I have attention deficit disorder, I don’t know. In any case, that’s what I was just doing, and I made an interesting discovery.

As you may or may not know, I have lead a somewhat colorful life. And I may not have always made the best decisions in my past. But in the end, I turned out ok – at least, I think so. The thing is, when you live as colorful a life as I have, if you can remember the names of people you used to hang out with back in the day, you can play a really fun game online. It’s called “Is He in Jail?” (Of course, it can also be called "Is SHE in Jail?" but to simplify, let's leave it as "He," ok?)

I discovered this game one day when I had to look up a potential defendant in an injury case I was working on. Suddenly it occurred to me that it might be interesting to type in the names of people I knew in the past, and find out (Cue cheesy game-show theme music) “Is He in Jail?” Initially, I typed in my own last name, just to make sure. Thankfully, I was not in jail, nor were any close relatives. For a while, I had a hard time even remembering any names of people who had the potential to be in jail, since my brain was pretty foggy back then, and to be honest, I’m not sure I even knew anyone’s last name. Actually, most people I knew back then only had nicknames… and I think typing in “T” or “Buddy” wouldn’t get me very far. So, I sat for a moment and tried to think of anyone I knew who seemed to be trouble while I was growing up.

As it turned out, a kid I went to grammar school with came to mind. He was a scrawny little guy with a major attitude. It was rumored that he was smoking pot as early as sixth grade, and although he wasn’t a tough guy, you just knew to stay away from him. Personally, I thought he was an ok guy, definitely a bit messed up, but he was always nice to me and the other geeks. So I started typing… BINGO! Apparently I was wrong about him – nice or not, he was serving numerous sentences for drugs, auto theft and burglary. Wow. And he looked exactly the same as he did in eighth grade. Except now he had tattoos. And according to his stats, he didn’t get much taller either. After finding one inmate, I was psyched to find more. But alas, I found no one.

Until today. I really hadn’t checked the site in a while, and found myself drawn there today. First I typed in Mr. South Side’s name: nothing. Which I already knew, since I just heard from him the other day. But when I typed in a couple more names, it turns out there are two guys I have dated who are not only ex-boyfriends, but ex-cons as well. Both are on parole, which is good for them, I guess. And both were arrested well AFTER they dropped out of my life, which is also good. But it was still pretty weird seeing their not-so-happy faces on the IDOC website. One was in for theft (no surprise there) and the other for a 2nd DUI. The DUI guy was a definite surprise, because as I scrolled down his rap sheet, I also saw a discharged sentence for involuntary manslaughter. From 1985. And I dated him in 1987. But I DO remember him telling me the whole sob story about a bad accident from a “barely over the limit” DUI that he could’ve gotten out of, but didn’t because of the enormous guilt. He had told me he did his time and when I knew him, he never drove ANYWHERE, drunk or otherwise. So seeing that he got this other DUI in 2003 was one of those “wow” moments.

As I said, both are now on parole, hopefully doing the next right thing. But it kind of blows my mind that such a sweet, mousy girl like me has not one but TWO ex-cons in her list of ex-boyfriends. (Stop laughing, you’ll choke.) And the psychotic tendencies of Mr. South Side lead me to believe there may be a third in the future.

I don’t really know what having this knowledge will do for me on any level, but I just think it’s something good to know. You know, to store away in the recesses of my mind in case the need ever arises. Like if maybe I get jumped by someone who has prison tats I can try to talk my way out of getting robbed or killed by saying, “Hey, did you happen to do time with so-and-so?” But knowing these two guys, they probably weren’t very high up on the hierarchy of power on their cell blocks. So maybe I’ll just keep the info to myself and hand over my purse if that happens. In the meantime, I highly recommend trying this fun game - just cut and paste the following link: http://www.idoc.state.il.us/subsections/search/default.asp

You never know what you’ll find.