NOT Imaginary Friends

When I was really little, probably about four or so, I had an imaginary friend. Her name was Ann and she was the best. She liked the same things I did, only came around when I wanted her to, and never was mean to me. Now, let me clarify for you – I was quite well aware that Ann was not REAL. I knew that she existed only in my imagination. But since even then my creativity was one of my strongest assets, she was as real as anyone could be – to ME, at least.

My older cousins would tease me mercilessly whenever I saw them: “Is ANN with you? Where’s ANN today?” And I would blush and stammer and say she stayed home. I didn’t like them making fun of me or my imaginary friend, it was a real sore spot for me. Ann hung around until about the time I started first grade, when I met a REAL girl who ultimately replaced my imaginary friend. Her name? Ironically: Ann.

The reason I’m telling the story of my imaginary friend is because lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve regressed back to that time. Since I started blogging, I’ve had the opportunity to correspond with plenty of people through my blog and theirs. And I LOVE it. Blogging not only gives me the opportunity to write whatever is on my mind but it also allows me to socialize in cyberspace. People like Amber, Hope, Becki, Kendra, Alice, Amanda, Kiki, Tim, Tom, Marissa, Cheryl and Miladysa frequent my blog and I frequent theirs. From reading their daily missives, I feel a connection – otherwise I wouldn’t bother to read. They make me laugh, they make me think, they make me really FEEL. But I have never laid eyes on ANY of them in the real world.

Yet I can be sitting around with my family or coworkers or what-have-you and share a story I read on one of their blogs like it was told to me in person by an old friend. And when I finish, I invariably get the old “So, who is (insert blogger’s name here) anyway?” When I explain the situation – non-bloggers just don’t get it. Kind of like my cousins didn’t get Ann. And then I start feeling a little weird, because let’s face it – it IS kind of strange.

How is it that I have come to feel so close to people I have never even met? Ok, I know Miladysa has told us that she fell in love with Sir Hubby over letters, but this is different. I feel as though I’ve known most of you all for YEARS, and feel comfortable enough to share pretty much anything with you. All this from reading and writing on the computer. If anyone had told me last year that my circle of friends would expand so greatly – but with people whose voices I probably wouldn’t recognize if phone numbers were ever exchanged – I’d have said they were nuts. Because HOW can you be friends with someone who, for all practical puropses, ISN’T REALLY THERE? Ok, so I read faithfully, and comment, but I also read lots of Steven King and James Patterson and Jackie Collins, but I don’t consider THEM friends. And they have websites, too. So technically, I can log on to their websites and write stuff to them and pretend that we’re buds… ok, maybe not. THEN people would REALLY think I was weird. Or delusional. (Hell, maybe if I did that, though, I could get a nice, restful vacation in some room with padded walls…)

I may or may not recognize most of you from your pictures – actually, passing on the street, probably not, but if there were a planned meeting or something, I’m sure I’d recognize most of you. But my blogger pals are spread across the entire country (and even across the pond!) – and I don’t get to travel much. So will I ever meet any of you? Maybe. Maybe not. I’d LIKE to, to be sure, because sometimes I feel closer to some of you than I do to people I come in contact with on a day-to-day basis. There are times when I’ll see something, or do something, and think, “Gee, (insert blogger’s name here) would LOVE this!” And those times are happening more and more frequently. But instead of picking up the phone like I would do for REAL people, I wait and post on my blog. So my question is this: am I totally insane? Because I can’t help but think that my imaginary friend Ann is still hanging out somewhere and laughing at me, since I now have a great bunch of friends who “aren’t there” either.

Honestly, I am not trying to be rude or insulting here, quite the contrary. Logically, I know that each and every one of you is a real person, with a real life, but is it normal to so look forward to reading new posts and getting comments and getting lost in the world of blogging? Am I losing touch with MY reality here? Or are there others out there like me who wish that someday we could just have a big party IN PERSON and TELL stories instead of WRITE them?

You know, this whole thing would’ve been so much easier if none of you had any talent, wrote like shit, and didn’t say anything I could relate to. Because then I wouldn’t really care. But the bottom line is that you’re all awesome and I don’t regret getting caught up in blogging at all. And who knows? Maybe someday we WILL come face to face – and if we ever did, I know for sure it would be a blast.

But it still seems really weird sometimes… doesn't it?