Friends Indeed

Oh, my wonderful blogger buds! Thank you for all your responses after my last post. It really meant a lot to know that I'm a) not crazy and b) still liked. (You all know how insecure and paranoid I can get!!) Anyway, I apologize for not being more faithful on the posting and commenting fronts, but I find myself stumbling over a bit of the post-holiday blues.

The holidays themselves were wonderful, don't get me wrong, but there have been several incidents which just aren't helping my psyche. In fact, they are really bringing me down. Because it is my nature to be overly concerned for people I care about. Add to that the fact that I will pretty much cry at anything remotely sad (for instance, the end of "The Little Mermaid," and sometimes those cotton commercials) and I wind up a walking basket case. I was just talking to my father on the phone and mentioned that I was thinking of getting a dvd recorder to transfer all my VHS tapes to dvd's, and he blasted me for not waiting until after I see him for our Christmas (we're getting together on New Year's - you know, divorced parent syndrome). Now, I know he was just kidding, but of course, I started to cry. Because of the other things on my mind, mostly, but getting yelled at, even jokingly, when I am feeling low will start the waterworks instantaneously.

Of course, he felt really bad, and I really didn't mean to make HIM feel bad, but when I explained to him why I was down, he was a bit more mellow. See, right now Lexie is at a good friend's house. This family is awesome, I met them a few years ago when Lexie started bowling and we got really close. The kind of people you are soooo grateful to have in your life - just all around "good people." Well, their daughter who is Lexie's age is having a spinal tap done as we speak. And even though I know it could be nothing, it's scary as hell. "Swelling on the brain" is what the doctors are saying now, but they aren't sure from what. Hence the (very painful for a kid) spinal tap. I keep thinking that things like this just aren't supposed to happen, especially not to good people.

And one of my brother's friends - a great guy who I have known forever as well - his wife's mother passed away suddenly just before Christmas. Buried on Christmas Eve. Again: good people. Why?? I just don't get it. I suppose really there is nothing to "get." I suppose we are just supposed to accept these things and go on... but it's really hard.

I do know that besides making me sad, things like these also make me even more grateful for everything I have in MY life, and realize that every day is a gift. You never know what's just around the corner. You have to blow off the little things and thank God you have the strength to handle what IS on your plate.

Someone brought in champagne and oj to work today... and Satan isn't in yet. I can't help but think that it's a sign - mimosas can sometimes do wonders for stress. (ONE mimosa - I'm not sitting here getting plowed, don't worry.) Anyway, I think I will finish my mimosa and try to get some work done. But I knew I owed you all an explanation. Hopefully things will all work out ok, any prayers anyone can offer would really help. In the meantime, if you don't see me in cyberspace as often in the next couple of weeks, I apologize in advance. But I promise to work on getting back into writing ASAP - I just need a little break, is all.