What the Heck IS That??

So today on the way to work I saw an alligator lying belly up on the side of the road. It was there yesterday, too, as I was leaving work. Actually, when I passed it yesterday, I kind of did a double-take, and wasn’t really sure it even WAS an alligator, but this morning it was still there. So I drove by kind of slow and verified that indeedy-do, it definitely was an alligator.

An 18” plastic alligator, mind you, but an alligator nonetheless.

But seeing that alligator made me wonder exactly how it wound up there. The road it was lying on is kind of a frontage road, if you will, between the main street and an apartment complex. At the end of the road is the office center where I work, as well as a hotel and a restaurant/bar. So it’s not really the kind of road people would be walking down. Besides, I don’t even think there are sidewalks. Which leads me to believe that this poor alligator was probably tossed from someone’s car window.

I can only imagine the circumstances leading up to this unfortunate event:

“BILLY! If you don’t stop teasing your sister, that alligator is going RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW!”

(Billy’s sister) “MOOOM! He touched me again!”

FLING!!! Out goes the alligator amid screams of despair.

Or maybe the kid was making the alligator “fly,” and lost his grip, hence sending the poor plastic beast plummeting to its demise.

Or MAYBE it was thrown out maliciously by a nasty sibling, and the parent had no time to stop and retrieve it.

Or MAYYYYBE a Weekend Dad didn’t realize his kid left Mr. Alligator in the passenger seat, and was driving home from the restaurant/bar with some drunk chick he picked up, hoping to get lucky, and the drunk chick freaked out upon seeing an alligator on the floor of the car, causing the Weekend Dad to almost CRASH as he tried to pick up the alligator (while still driving) and toss the offensive creature, thus saving his potential for a “good night” but ultimately ruining his status as “Super Dad.”

Whew. I like that last explanation best, but it sure was a long-winded one. Anyway, those are my theories. Maybe if it is still there later, I will rescue it and find a nice plastic alligator farm or something. Poor little guy.