Halloweentime!!

Although here in the Chicago area the temperature seems to be hovering in the 70’s and 80’s, it is still apparent by the store displays that Halloween is in the air. I keep forgetting this fact, probably because it is sooooo not Halloween weather, and I keep wondering why there are pumpkins in the produce section of the grocery store so early this year. Of course, it only takes a second for it to hit me - DUH! It's late September already! Anyway, I do enjoy Halloween, and I'll tell you why.

I enjoy Halloween because I get free candy and I don't even have to dress up. This is because I have a child. See, I just use the old, "Let mom make sure all your candy is safe" routine, then pick out the things I especially like. I figure eventually she will get old enough to realize that I have been scamming her out of the good stuff for, like, YEARS, but until that happens, hey - she'll live. Lord knows she always has more than enough to last her until the next Halloween anyway. I also enjoy Halloween because I like seeing what new and creative ideas the kids come up with for their costumes. And when I say "the kids" I SO do not mean my daughter. I actually was lying in bed last night trying to remember what her costumes have been for the first ten Halloweens of her life, and was alarmed at the discovery I made. When we were getting ready this morning, I asked her, "Is it possible that for the last five years in a row you have been either a rock star or one of the Pussycats?" (NOT "Pussycat DOLLS", mind you, "Pussycats" as in "Josie and the," which was really big to her around kindergarten and first grade.) She thought for all of two seconds and replied, "Yup. That's right. But this year I think I'll be a zombie."

THANK GOD!!! I never thought I would be so happy to hear that my daughter wanted to be a zombie. But I am, mostly because I am really sick of the whole Rock Star bit. I'm not really sure what her idea of a zombie costume is, but anything is better than a feather boa that sheds all over the place, high heeled wedge shoes that should be banned, and leopard print pants. Actually, all she would have to do is roll out of bed and go to school after staying up too late the night before - no makeup required. Cheap and easy.

Costumes were much more fun when I got to choose them for her. Because although I haven't dressed up since I took 3rd at Shooter's for my sadist outfit (oh, yes, those were the days!!), I do enjoy seeing other people in costume. (I had a friend back in the day who LOVED Halloween and used to dress up in these awesome scary-ass costumes, but since those were the days when we partied a lot, people tended to get a bit too freaked out so she eventually stopped.) My costume (if forced to wear one) is simply regular street clothes. If asked - I am an undercover cop. Then I show them my fake police badge and ask them not to blow my cover. But picking out costumes for your kid - fun Fun FUN!! Let's see, as an infant, Lexie was a black cat. Cute little black onesie with a hood with ears and a tail. At one, she was Bananas in Pajamas. (More on THAT on another blog - I think Bananas in Pajamas would make a great topic, don't you??) At two, she was going through her "Toy Story" phase, so she was "Joe," otherwise known as Woody (you'll have to ask my mom about the whole "Joe" thing). At three, the cutest little blonde witch you ever laid eyes on. Then at four, I started to lose control. She decided to be a Pink Power Ranger. And as previously mentioned, from ages five to nine: Rock Star.

I also love Halloween because we go to Fright Fest at Great America. Fright Fest is AWESOME. As long as it's not too cold, and it is lookin' pretty good for this year!! They turn the whole place into a "haunted park" and have weird people walking around and theme the rides, and also have a pretty good hypnotist act. Fright Fest is about as close as I will come to going to a real haunted house, because ever since I was about eleven I refused to go in them. Mind you, I was FORCED by my sadistic father to go in haunted houses as soon as I was tall enough to be allowed in, but by eleven I stood my ground and refused. And have refused ever since. I still have the mental scars from the chainsaw guy chasing me across the room. And MY personal theory is this: How do you know the people dressed up in these things aren't REAL killers? Seriously. Think about it. They could kill you FOR REAL, and everyone would think it was all part of the act. Sure, eventually they would be caught, but YOU'D still be DEAD. So what good would THAT do you? None. None at all. So I will no longer go into haunted houses unless they are the animatronic ones. But I still love Fright Fest. Those weird people don't freak me out that much. And I love the coasters. All of them.

Oh - I almost forgot - my FAVORITE thing about Halloween?? The fact that I live in condo and don't EVER get any trick or treaters. So for me, as long as Lexie will go out trick or treating - it really IS free candy. And nobody interrupts my tv shows.