Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

Last night I was watching tv, when I suddenly had an experience like none I have ever had before. Allow me to explain. You see, I was watching one of those special summer filler shows, Hit Me Baby One More Time, which actually is not a bad show. Basically, they take like five bands from the past (“the past” being anywhere from 1979 to the late 90’s), have them perform one of their big hits from when they were popular, and then have them perform a cover of one of “today’s” hits. Then the audience votes on who they liked best and $20K goes to that band’s favorite charity (kind of a bummer for the bands, personally I think some of them need it more).

Anyway, I have watched the first couple shows and kind of enjoyed seeing these people, and alternating between making fun of them and admiring them for their guts. Some were really good, some sucked, but none of them came close to causing the Twilight Zone-like sensation I felt when I watched Wang Chung. Now, I have plenty of good memories relating to Wang Chung songs. All two of them: Dance Hall Days and Everybody Have Fun Tonight. Driving up and down Harlem Avenue with my girlfriends, picking up guys, roller skating, high school dances… I’ve got a lot of fodder for future blogs in those memories, to be sure. So I really enjoyed when they did their thing singing Everybody Have Fun Tonight. Sure, they had gotten old (haven’t we all?) and the one guitarist probably shouldn’t keep what was left of his hair in a ponytail, but they did pretty well, all things considered. Considering that they were big in say, 1986 or so, we’re talking about 20 years since these guys had been heard from. And they were probably in their 30s back then, so I was impressed with their stamina and performance. I watched the rest of the performers do their thing, and then it happened. Time for the cover songs.

I watched as Wang Chung was announced, thought I heard the MC say that they were going to perform Nelly’s Hot in Herre. I knitted my brows together and leaned closer to the television, and thought I was hearing the strains of the opening of a hip hop song. But I couldn’t have been, right? I mean, men on the verge of joining AARP do NOT sing songs like Hot in Herre. WHITE men, no less. But here was Wang Chung, using terms like “bodacious” and asking people to “take off all your clothes.” As Chris Rock would say, “that shit ain’t right!” Honestly, there was something about the whole thing that really made me feel like I needed to take a shower. The thing was, they really weren’t BAD, per se, just… see, I can’t even find the words!! And I am NOT an easy person to render speechless. I wonder if Nelly is aware of this sacrilege. If he is, I doubt he’ll ever sing that song again. The audience seemed to like it though, I just found it to be a little out there.

I thought the goosebumps would subside when they finished, and they did – temporarily. Then Cameo came out and did their rendition of Bowling for Soup’s 1985. Great. First old white guys try to do black hip hop, now black guys trying to do white-bread pop rock. And they sucked. I don’t know what they were trying to do to it, but they really screwed it up. On a side note regarding Cameo, I really hope that the lead singer didn’t have the delusion that because he was wearing an oversized bright red athletic cup, more women would find him sexy. To me, it was a cry for help. MAJOR help.

Anyway, I’m sure I will watch the show again next week, just to see if they can top this last episode. But even as I type, I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise remembering Wang (or was it Chung?) asking me to strip.