The "Corruption" of Today's Youth

I am becoming quite concerned with the state of the nation today. Not that I haven’t been pretty much my whole adult life, but it has been becoming more and more annoying to me watching seemingly innocuous things being ripped to shreds by mostly pain-in-the-ass conservatives. It’s bad enough that our country is involved in a stupid war we have no business being in, and that the government seems to get enjoyment from screwing with people’s heads regarding everything from Medicare to taxes, but now we have morons freaking out about homosexuality and obesity. And their targets? Clowns, muppets and cartoon characters.

A few days ago I read an article that said Ronald McDonald is getting a makeover. Apparently, he needs to get into better shape and be a good role model for kids. (WHAT???) So now they have him playing soccer and wearing a soccer uniform in his new slimmed-down physique. HE IS A GODDAMNED CLOWN. Clowns are not supposed to be playing soccer – unless they are there to fall down a lot and make people laugh. And personally, I don’t want my child’s role model to be a clown, anyway. Even an athletic clown. Ronald is an icon, and he was created to sell cheeseburgers, for crying out loud. Not whip our youth into shape. Doesn’t the CEO of McDonald’s realize how moronic this is?? If Ronald is serious about playing soccer and keeping the weight off, he will have to avoid McDonald’s altogether. Even the so-called “healthy items.” (And let’s be honest here, the salads and fruit and yogurt BS shouldn’t even be sold at a fast food place to begin with.) I understand that people need to be more health conscious, but PLEASE. There is nothing wrong with a greasy quarter pounder with cheese and extra salty fries every now and then. And there was nothing wrong with the old Ronald, either. Actually, I always thought he was a bit on the slim side for a clown to begin with.

The next target is Cookie Monster. Who will no longer be chowing down on cookies, because that sends a bad message to our youth. From now on, he will be eating fruits and vegetables. I don’t know about you, but to me it won’t be the same. I don’t think fruits and vegetables even give off any crumbs, so how effective will his chowing be, anyway? And I’m pretty sure it’s only a matter of time before his name is changed too. Maybe they’ll call him the “No-More-Cookies” Monster. Or the “I-Used-To-Eat-Cookies” Monster.

Finally, I’d really like to know who the morons are who decided that Spongebob is gay. Or that Tinky-Winky is gay. Or that ANY children’s characters are gay, for that matter. I think Whoopi Goldberg hit the nail on the head when she said “None of these characters have genitalia. How can they be gay? If anything, they are ASEXUAL.” Paranoia, people. Besides, who the hell cares if they ARE gay? Gay is not a disease. You cannot watch gay people on tv and become gay. Just like you cannot associate with gay people and become gay. That is like saying I will eventually become black from watching “The Jeffersons” too much while I was a kid. Personally, I say let people be who they are and stop worrying about it. There will always be fat people, there will always be gay people. Some of today’s youth will wind up fat, some are probably gay. But changing these characters or taking them off the air won’t really change anything, will it?

Ok, the health thing I can see being concerned about, to a point. But this is something for the parents to monitor. The gay issue is something no one can. So I say just leave things alone. Let kids be kids. Don’t pressure them so much with all this stupid right-wing bullshit. Gay or not, Spongebob makes kids of all ages laugh. And I want the old Ronald McDonald and all his greasy McDonaldland pals back. Finally, for God’s sake, give the Monster back his cookies.