This weekend, my daughter Roxy reached a milestone: she got her first kiss. And I am actually quite jealous. This is because my first kiss came from HR Pufnstuff at an amusement park in St. Louis. (For those of you who may be too young to know who Pufnstuff is, he is a Marty Kroft creation with a huge mushroom shaped head. I think he is a dragon, but I am not sure. In any case, picture a giant muppet, only not as cute because its creator was on acid.) Now let me clarify – we are talking first KISS here, not first make-out session (which I also remember, it was a guy named Fred, whom I had just met, in the back seat of his friend’s car while listening to Rainbow on the stereo – another story, another time). Your first kiss is a kiss that comes from a member of the opposite sex who is not a family friend or relative. (Yes, Pufnstuff was a male dragon. And as far as I know, he is not related to me or is a friend of my parents’.) Anyway, now that we have clarified the requirements for an official first kiss, allow me to share the story.
My mother, Roxy and I went down to the Taste of Chicago on Saturday. We were all looking forward to it, especially because ABC Daytime was hosting “Fun in the Sun,” a little tour of various soap stars. Since all three of us watch All My Children regularly, and Roxy and I also watch General Hospital, we figured it would be fun to see the stars up close and personal. Of course, we also were looking forward to the Taste itself, although I have been told that me going to the Taste is pointless. (Apparently the reason for going to the Taste is to try NEW things, and I tend to stick to what I know – like pizza. But there are lots of different pizza places there, so I’m usually fine.) Anyway, we took the “L” down, and headed off to Buckingham Fountain to look for JR, Josh and Aidan from AMC and Dillon from GH (there were also some chicks from One Life to Live there, but we don’t watch that). It was pretty crowded, and EXTREMELY hot, but we were troupers and dealt with it well. When the stars finally came out, we tried to move in to get a better look. After a brief intro on stage, some of the stars came out to mingle with the crowd. Roxy and I followed the mob to JR, and were unsuccessful in our attempts to get an autographed picture. So we moved to some guardrails at the end of the staging area in back. The three of us waited patiently, and finally saw JR again. Roxy started waving, and apparently no one is immune to the charms of a cute blonde almost ten year old who is sweating to death, because he motioned toward her to his security guard and then came our way. He handed her an autographed picture personally, signed a few more, and left. (Nope! I faked you out!! No kiss yet!!!) She was thrilled. It was around this time she decided she wanted her baseball cap signed as well.
This proved to be a more difficult task. We found several spots around the area where we managed to get a little closer than normal, but the trick was to get these guys to notice you. The funny thing is, as a fan, you start to get really irritated with these people. I mean, when you watch a show on a regular basis, you start to feel as though you KNOW these people. And with a soap star, you see them 5 times a week, and know all their life stories, and problems, etc. You root for them, you hate them, you lust after them. You feel their pain during sad storylines, and you cry at their weddings. So when you are standing in 100° heat screaming their name (or their character’s name) and they seem to be ignoring you, you get pissed off. It’s like when you run into someone you used to have a thing with and they pretend they don’t know you. (not that that has ever happened to me, of course) The only difference is that these stars really DON’T know you, and aren’t trying to be jerks. I tried to keep this in mind as Roxy and I went from one side of the staging area to the other and back again, still trying to get her damn hat signed.
Finally, we saw JR again, and she squeezed her way to the front of the crowd. His bodyguard had just told him he had to go, but he noticed my Roxy and reached for her hat with a smile, giving her the final autograph of the moment. Then he left again. (HA!! Fakeout number 2!) I really think, though, that JR liked my daughter. In a nice way, you know, like: “Hey, what a cute little girl!” Not in a perverted way or anything. Because he DID give her two autographs and smile at her. So now she has JR’s autograph on her hat, and she tells me that she still needs Aidan’s autograph. Back to our search.
Well, there we were, standing by one of the guardrails, when we see Aidan heading our way, albeit with a crowd of security. My mother was standing behind us and off to the side a little, and I was right with Roxy. She started waving her hat in his direction and calling “Aidan! Aidan!” Then it happened. (Pay attention – no more fakeouts!) Aidan came out from behind the guardrail to do some kind of promo shot (hence all the security), and when he saw Roxy, he leaned over and put his hand on top of her head and kissed her on the cheek (Roxy informed me that his watch momentarily got stuck in her hair, but he freed it pretty quick). I was floored. The hot Brit from All My Children had just given my daughter her first kiss! And I didn’t even manage to get a picture – it had happened so fast!! I DID however, get a picture of Roxy cooling her jets immediately after the fact (literally, she had a little fan thingy) and of Aidan walking by with a smirk on his face. She never got the autograph on her hat, but she got the memory of a lifetime.
SOOOOOOOOOO not fair. Me – Overgrown Muppet. Roxy – Hot British Soap Star. And you know what else? She doesn’t even appreciate it. She told me to stop telling people because it EMBARRASSES her. Oh, please!! Embarrassed of being kissed by Aidan??? You’d have to be NUTS!! Or nine, I guess. Well, I’m sure eventually she’ll realize just how lucky she is. And we all know I don’t plan on keeping my mouth shut about this – but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right??
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