Wedding Bell Blues

Ok, I've been sitting here pondering trying to come up with a topic for today, when all of a sudden my friend comes in and tells me she met some guy in Arizona and might move out there. JUMP BACK!! This is an intelligent woman, folks, an attorney, no less, yet here she stood, willing to give it all up for a man she has known for barely a week. Further prodding got me some additional info which I found quite interesting... my friend started in with the whole "my-life-sucks-and-it's-really-boring" speech and wound up spitting out the real reason she is contemplating this move - she's lonely. In an "I've never been married and I'm in my 30s" lonely. Gotcha.

I can empathize with her situation - to a point. I myself have never been married, and looking around lately, I am feeling completely left out of the loop. EVERYONE is getting married. Two of my best friends are getting married - both for the second time. My baby brother is married. This summer, another of my younger cousins is getting married. Gold Digger downstairs is getting married (well, maybe). At the poker party last week: married, married, getting married, got engaged... blah blah blah. And Erica Kane is getting married on All My Children today - for the tenth time. I am completely baffled by this whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I am all for "true love," and "soulmates" (please try to ignore the sarcasm I am subconsciously inserting in those phrases), but this is a part of life I DEFINITELY don't get. I have been told by numerous people many times that "someday you'll find THE ONE." ??? Oh, and my favorite line: "it always happens when you least expect it." Ok, so now, I don't know about any of you, but there has never been a time in my life when I went out and thought, "Hey, wow! I really think that tonight will be the night I meet my future husband!" Therefore, I am never really expecting it. Yet I still remain single.

Ok, now without tooting my own horn (I've always wanted to use that phrase), I'm not that bad of a catch. I think I'm fairly attractive, average build - and still working on it, intellingent and fun to be around (usually). Yet for thirty-something years, marriage is an issue that has never once come up in my personal life. And honestly, I really don't think it bothers me that much. Which worries me. Basically because I see all these other women running around like chickens with their heads cut off worrying about not having a man and not being married, and I'm not panicked. At all. If it happens, it happens. If not - oh well. And I don't think it's normal to be that unworried about remaining single forever. Case in point - I have several female cousins who have been married several times. All righty then. Bottom line, they are happy now, but did the whole marriage thing over and over till they got it right. I won't have that luxury of time if I screw up on the first husband, which is another reason I want to get it right if I do ever get married. Then there's Ms. Gold Digger downstairs (soon to be Mrs. Dentist) who seems to never be without a fiancee. And she is younger than me. That would drive me nuts, I think. I need some personal space, and having a revolving door of fiancees is crazy.

So I guess I may never quite understand the institution of marriage (another scary thing - I was always taught that "institutions" were places you usually wanted to keep out of) or why there are so many people willing to just jump right in. Maybe people are right when they tell me "it'll happen," but as far as what exactly "it" is - you got me. Thunderbolts and lightning? (Very very frightening!) Butterflies? Head rush? Nausea? Bad case of the giggles? Just please shoot me if I ever start with the baby talk - ok?? And I promise to keep you posted if anything ever does happen.