Where's the Happy Medium??

I guess I should’ve known better, but then again, maybe not. For those of you keeping score – Mr. South Side is still flying in the wind, and as of yesterday, I was pretty impressed with Mr. Cop. But not long after I finished yesterday’s blog, I made some additional discoveries about Mr. Cop, which are none too flattering.

I spoke to him again yesterday afternoon, (twice, actually) and all of a sudden he went from funny as hell to condescending and rude. And he thought nothing of it. I believe his ACTUAL words were, “It’s all about me.” I tried to play it off and see if he was serious, and in giving him the benefit of the doubt, he backed down a little. Now, a bit of background on myself: I am NOBODY’S doormat. I can be very tolerant, and joke around with the best of them, but the minute you start treating me like my opinions, the things I do or what I say are meaningless and (for lack of a better word) stupid – well, to put it bluntly, you can go fuck yourself.

It seems Mr. Cop may have some inferiority issues, based on the fact that he seems bound and determined to make sure I know just how wealthy he is, how EVERYBODY loves him, and how (since he works in the city EVERY DAY) he knows infinitely more than I do about Chicago, and basically every other subject. Case in point: as we were chatting on the phone, I was on my way to pick up a pizza. I told him this, and he asked “From where?” When I told him from Lou Malnati’s, his response was, “Their pizza SUCKS.” Ok, for any of you who know Chicago pizza at all, this is obviously not true. Although, I can respect his opinion, so I was like, “I don’t think so, and neither does my daughter. WE like Lou’s.” HIS response? “Well, you OBVIOUSLY know NOTHING about pizza, especially since you’re not Italian. They have the CRAPPIEST pizza in the world.” This was punctuated by a laugh, which I wasn’t quite sure was meant to indicate “don’t worry, I’m just joking around” or “God you are SO pathetic.” In any case, I dropped it, and the conversation ended shortly after. When I told my friend about this exchange, she said I should have replied, “Well, it’s OBVIOUS you know a LOT about pizza, FATASS.” And yes, I did think that was pretty funny, but not nice at all. Especially referring back (again) to my Plus Size blog. (But did I mention how funny that would’ve been??)

The jury is still out on Mr. Cop, though, I will give him another chance to redeem himself. Next time I talk to him, if he starts that shit, I will tell him point-blank that homey don’t play that. And if he doesn’t like it – whatever. Adios, amigo. Maybe I’ll refer him to almost Mrs. Dentist. After all, it’s not like she hasn’t dumped one fiancée for a better prospect before.

I swear, this whole dating crap is EXHAUSTING. Where’s the happy medium?? On one hand, I’ve got Mr. South Side, who is very nice, but can’t carry on a conversation to save his life and on the other hand, I have Mr. Cop who has PLENTY to say, but may be saying a bit more than I need to hear. See, for those of you who care, THIS is why I don’t put myself “out there,” it gives me a headache. No, scratch that, it gives me a flipping MIGRAINE. And yet here I sit, wondering if I got any other responses from my venture into online dating. It can’t get any worse, can it??

Happy weekend, everyone. Back on Monday. And EJ – make sure you don’t let me down this time.