Thank You

Know what? You people are so awesome! I really appreciate all the kind words. I haven’t jumped out any windows, in thinking it over a little more I realized that with my luck I would probably wind up injured just severely enough to rack up some serious medical bills, but not enough to miss work for any length of time. And really? I’m not that big into pain.

It means a lot to have people listen (or read!) and understand, and give me the sympathy I am subconsciously looking for. I know I’ll manage, I’ve survived through a lot worse, but sometimes it really seems like I am repeatedly pounding my head against a brick wall, you know? Yes, you do, as evidenced by all your comments. And in response to those:

Network Geek: I’ll be (choke) 38 in November – but don’t feel that old, at least not usually. I guess being old is really a relative thing, though, to an 18 year old I may be old – to a 68 year old, I’m young. And the picture was taken last Christmas – and really? Classic pear shape, those damn Irish hips and thighs are my downfall – and those you will NEVER see in a picture. Unless I can photoshop it. ;) I’m anal about my bills because of the years when I really didn’t give a shit and had really messed up credit… I finally got it back at a decent level and drive myself nuts trying to make on-time payments. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I feel I have to prove myself to people (read: my father) and NOT wind up in the red on a permanent basis. So I borrow from Peter to pay Paul. Not the smartest thing, I know, but for now, at least, it is working…

Rick: “Don’t give up before the miracle…” (Grin) Haven’t heard that one in a while! But you’re right, I have to have faith that things WILL eventually go my way. I’ve busted my ass too long to straighten out my life and do the next right thing to give up and miss the boat… Thanks for the reminder!

Cheryl: Yeah, you would think a 46 year old man would be responsible enough to support his own child, but then again, beer and drugs are expensive too – obviously he had to choose between those and Lexie… Oops, my bad – I cannot say for certain he is still partying, wouldn’t want to defame his character or anything… ;) And, ummmm, Cheryl, I know you mean well – but cutting off my cable would be like cutting off my arm. My right arm. That I use all the time. Because if there is one thing about me that everyone knows, it is that I NEED my tv. HBO I can live without, FX (Nip/Tuck, Rescue Me & The Shield), VH1 (Flavor of Love & Surreal Life), Bravo (Queer Eye, Blow Out) are necessities. Not to mention the regular network shows as well. I know, it’s pathetic, really, but I have this unnatural need to watch other people’s lives – whether they are fictionalized or real!! And the land line isn’t so bad, it is also used for my internet and has unlimited calling for a reasonable price. I think I’d actually consider giving up the cell phone before the land line. Old fashioned, I guess! ;)

Linda: FINE. I am so used to your not even caring!!! (Obviously, I am SOO kidding!! I’ll call you soon!! But I can’t do tequila – trust me on this…)

Hope: First off – I MISS YOUR BLOG!!! Second – the government SUCKS. It is so unfair that hard working people get screwed while the rich and the LAZY poor (those who just refuse to work to collect aid, or those who scam the system) get all the breaks. If I sat down and wrote about all the issues I have had over the years, it would take FOREVER. One ridiculous thing that I KNOW you will appreciate (being a fellow kitty lover) when Baby was really really sick about six years ago, the vet basically told me I had to either have him hospitalized (yeah, right!) or put him down. They suggested calling the Anti-Cruelty Society because they offered pet health assistance to low income families. I figured I’d qualify as a single mom who was barely scraping by. But when I called to inquire I was told in order to qualify, you had to have a monthly gross income level BELOW $800. Now, call me crazy, but if you are grossing less than $800 a month – HOW THE HELL DO YOU AFFORD A PET IN THE FIRST PLACE??? As it turned out, though, I found a new vet who discovered Baby was allergic to penicillin and cured him much more cheaply. (Yay!)

There. If anyone else responds, I’ll write a new "thanks a lot" blog. Seriously, I really do appreciate all of you – even the regular lurkers who don’t comment. Some I know (like various cousins and friends and brothers (well, the one and only brother) and one pretty damn fantastic aunt who shall remain nameless but who knows who she is… Yes, you, Auntie Margie!!) and some I don’t, but regardless, just knowing people are reading boosts my ego every day. And at times like this, when I am feeling pissy and sorry for myself, I am so grateful to have people like all of you to haul my ass back up and remind me that I’m still ok.

Ok, I’m so done with the mushy crap. Bottom line: thanks guys. Now I’d better get back to my hellish job so I can continue to make some money to pay the bills until my book sells. Which it will, I know, because all of you tell me it will. ;)