I Wanna Be Sedated - PERMANENTLY

I. HATE. THIS.

M has been gone for just over a week and already I am nearing my breaking point. Satan asked me yesterday if I was managing ok, and I told him that currently I was fine. But that I probably shouldn’t say that, because that’s when things pile up. He laughed, and I laughed.

Then he came out to my desk with monster file #1. And monster files #2, 3, 4, 5 and 6. On top of all MY work I had, AND the copies the other attorney needed, AND the faxes waiting to go out, AND the calls that needed to be returned. Oh, did I mention that he barely explained how to do the work on said monster files, but rather said “just look up the procedures. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

And? Lexie has been sick. She was home yesterday with a stomach ache and slight fever. By herself – since I can’t miss work right now. So I spent the day (in between attempting to get work done that I don’t know how to do) calling home to check on her. And I got to race home at lunchtime and spend four minutes with her – no more, no less, since it takes three minutes each time out of the office and to the parking lot and vice versa and ten minutes each way to and from the office – and I only get a 30 minute lunch. She said she was still sick today, yet she is eating fine and not doubled over in pain and has no fever, so I made her go to school grumbling anyway.

AND? I found out asshole has been working since May 9. MAY 9. Yet – have I GOTTEN any child support? Nope. SUPPOSEDLY they are hauling his ass into court in Florida on contempt charges for nonpayment – but I’ll believe that when I see it. So in the meantime, I am maxing out my credit cards to pay the bills and somehow survive. Oh, and did I mention that the lovely State of Illinois’ All Kids Health Program denied my application for health insurance for Lexie? That’s right. Not because I make too much money, but because I THOUGHT IT IMPORTANT TO KEEP HER INSURED. They won’t give me assistance because I manage to somehow pay the exorbitant premiums to Blue Cross to keep her covered, since asshole never has. And for that I am punished. Oh – but wait – it gets better – they told me if I cancel her insurance and leave her UNINSURED FOR A YEAR, then I can reapply and MIGHT get accepted. Did I mention that the website says illegals can get the health insurance assistance without being reported to INS, “because the health of ALL Illinois children is important to us!”

I am broke, stressed, fat, old, and tired. I have already cancelled my Curves (a women's workout place, for you men who don’t understand) membership, cut out my premium cable channels and have the lowest amount of monthly minutes possible for my cell phone. I can’t figure out how else to cut corners unless I just stop buying groceries or leaving the house at all – which actually doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.

And in the time it has taken me to write this? Three more files on my desk from nice attorney.
Sorry for the rant, but I gotta let it out somehow. I think I’ll go jump out a window now.