So I am trying to figure out when exactly I became a dirty old lady. Ok, so maybe the "dirty" part has always been hidden somewhere in my psyche, but the "old" part really snuck up on me. Cause I certainly never felt that old, but when I consider the fact that I was going to junior prom when current 21 year olds are taking their first drink (well, first legal drink, anyway), crap I feel ancient!
And today I went out and bought the new Justin Timberlake CD. Which is why I totally feel like a dirty old lady. Because women my age should not be having the kind of thoughts I have been having about my boy Justin. Now, I know Cameron does, and gets to act on them as well (lucky girl!), but she is four years younger than me - hence less than a decade older than Justin. And really? Kudos to her. Think about it - when she first started dating him, everyone was like "Oh, my goodness! Cradle-robber! And he's such a baby!! Such a young looking boy!!" Because really? He totally was. He was still a geek when they started dating. And Cameron ignored the trash-talk and hung on to her boy-toy and now?? Homegirl is laughing her ass off at all of us. Because she's got a man. A HOTT (notice the two "T's"), SEXY as HELL man who can MOVE and SING his tight little ass off. Damn.
I saw him on the VMA's, and ummm... is it getting warm in here? Give me a minute to catch my breath... That boy had me considering illicit bedroom acts that I blush to even think about. Which is just sooooo wrong!!! I mean, you all know me! Nice, sweet, innocent dasi! Pure as the driven snow! Why does this man-boy affect me so? HE IS THIRTEEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME!!! I was entering my teens when he was born!! When I became legal, he was only FIVE!!!! I must regain my composure here. This is utterly ridiculous.
And yet... I just... can't... seem to... help myself....
Even his singing. Why does he have to sing such blatantly sexual songs?? I mean, ok, so the CD does have an "Explicit Content" label on it, but I thought that mean some swear words or something. I didn't realize it meant "don't get drunk with strangers while listening to this CD or you may wind up in bed with them while fantasizing about Justin Timberlake." Did any of you know that?? Although I seem to be addicted to the music which seems to be having a very odd effect on my loins... AAAAACK!!! STOP IT!!!!!!! This is so not me!!!! Back in the day, when I was a Prince fanatic, his songs never did this to me - and he was pretty damn explicit too... then again, Justin isn't four feet tall... and Justin does have those sexy blue eyes... and Justin...
HELP ME!!!!
You know, I used to think all those so-called "studies" about women reaching their sexual prime when they were a tad bit older - more around the age I am at now - were a load of crap. But now I have to wonder if there is some merit to them after all. Of course, the only sucky thing is that I would like to enjoy my prime with someone THIRTEEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME. Who just happens to be famous and already dating Cameron Diaz. Mother of all that is Holy, what's a girl to do???
I think it's time to turn off the CD and take a cold shower. Sheesh.
6 comments:
Those studies are not a lie or an exaggeration. I am with you on this, sister! The minute I turned 28 (or so) my hormones went into overdrive. Now, a few weeks before my 31st birthday, they're just as insane (though I've become a bit more accustomed to their screaming). I truly hope it doesn't get any worse. Though it also should be noted, that my writing took a turn for the *much* better once my hormones took a turn for the... um... you know.
And on a JT-specific note, it should be noted that yes, he was a boy-bander, but let's consider the fact that he, unlike the New Kids on the Block (and I was a huuuuge Jordan fan back in the day, and am SOOOO DEVILISHLY DELIGHTED that I aged so much better than he did!)... what was I saying...?
Oh yes, JT. A total professional. Has been since he was a kid. Disney is no joke. Those little Mouseketeers work their butts off. So yes, he was in a boy band, but isn't that the pinnacle of achievement for a teenage boy who sings and dances? And he clearly has worked very hard to differentiate his solo career from that.
I'm a big fan of the idea of acknowledging the hard work that goes into well-done pop culture. So I completely condone your obsession with JT.
And also, he's a legal adult.
And also, he's hot.
And also, how many guys apologized for their Britney Spears obsessions?
There ya go.
remember the whole janet-jackson-nipple-exposure thing? yeah, my roommate and i totally didn't notice when it happened..... because we were much too busy watching JT. who can notice naked boobs when JT is on screen??
Ladies, ladies. Justin fell for Britney Spears fer cryin' out loud. God knows what he's carryin' around.
lol! There are some great benefits with getting older and the alternative is not worth thinking about ;]
Sir H is younger than me... I say he lied about his age when we met ... he says he just let me think he was older than he actually was. As we were both in our 30s I had no idea about the age difference until after we had been together just over a year and I stumbled across his driving licence - well actually I was rooting in his glove compartment as you do;]
Love it love it love it.
He is so hott.
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