Yesterday

So yesterday was an interesting day. I had to leave work early for my annual "fun" women's exam, and still wound up just about ten minutes late for my appointment. Which really didn't matter, since I STILL sat there for almost an hour before getting called. I absolutely HATE that. I mean, a few minutes I can understand, but almost an HOUR?? I could've stayed at work at least another half hour or so and goofed off there (since Satan is still gone). But whatever. I digress.

So there I am, sitting on the uncomfortable table with one of those stupid gowns ("open in the FRONT, dear") while my doctor makes small talk like we're just hanging out or something, and he's not about to go poking around DOWN THERE. Then all of a sudden my cell rings. Lexie's ring. "Excuse me," I say, trying to reach my phone while keeping the gown closed.

"Sweetie, this is really not a good time," I say, smiling through gritted teeth. "I will call you back in a few minutes."

"BUT MOM IT'S AN EMERGENCY! The toilet and sink are making funny noises!"

I sigh and reply, "Are they overflowing?"

"No..."

"Then they are fine. Leave them alone, or get Brad (cute nice neighbor across the hall)."

"Fine. I'm getting Brad." Click.

Again with the maneuvering to put my phone back, and then I blushingly apologize to the doctor who it seems is smirking at me. He has three young kids of his own, you see.

"Everything ok?" he asks.

"Oh, fine," I reply. And the appointment proceeded with no further interruptions.

So on my way home, I call Lexie back. "Did Brad come over?"

"Yes. And when he did, it stopped. So it's ok."

Whatever.

When I got home, there was a large notice posted in the hallway. Apparently, a water pipe had burst down the street, so the Village had shut off the water for the entire complex starting at 4:00. Possibly until the next morning. And they apologize for the inconvenience. Well, that explained the funny noises Lexie heard, but it also really SUCKED. Of course, one of the few days I actually put makeup on I might be unable to wash my face before bed. And when I get upstairs, Lexie walks up to me and announces, "They're DOING it again!"

I wrinkle my nose, because she stinks. "I know," I tell her, "the Village shut the water off. And you STINK."

"Thanks, mom!" she replies sarcastically, sniffing her pits. "I'll take a shower tonight."

I don't even bother. There's no point. Then she announces she wants her eyebrows plucked. That everyone is making fun of her unibrow. She's really fair, and although she DOES have a unibrow, she is only ten, so I try to avoid the issue. When she won't give up, I warn her it WILL hurt, and if I do it tonight, she will have to continue doing it FOREVER or it will be even worse. She wants it bad enough, so I pluck away.

Surprisingly, she barely flinches as I wrestle with the tweezers. And she looks ok, I guess. There's definitely no more unibrow, and that makes her happy. We watch some tv, and I inform her that if there is water tomorrow, she NEEDS a shower. Right before bed, I test the faucet. WATER!! YAY!! But now it is too late for her to shower, so I warn her I will be waking her early.

Then, in the middle of the night, about 2:30 am, I hear Lexie get up. Coughing. And half crying. She has a bloody nose. A GUSHING bloody nose. I roll out of bed and find her in the bathroom with bloody hands and a bloody sink and a bloody mirror trying to pinch it shut. This hasn't really happened since she was five and she had her nose cauterized. So I got the ice, and calmed her down, cleaned her up, and we pinched and waited. We wound up awake for over an hour waiting for it to stop. Which, thankfully, it finally did. I tucked her back in, and pulled out the humidifier, cleaned it out, and plugged it in. By 4:00 am, I was back in bed.

This morning, we were both DEAD TIRED, but evil mom that I am, I refused to let her stay home and sleep. I told her to nap when she came home if she wanted, but she had to go to school. After her shower, she seemed a little more awake, so I'm hoping she makes it through the day.

And I am hoping I make it through today, too. It is the Cub's home opener and the last day before Satan comes back, so I plan on savoring both these events to their fullest. I am soooo dreading Monday.

Anyway, I realize this is a pretty lame post, but I am tired and have nothing else to write about. And I am not feeling "TBOTE" right now. Hopefully I will feel more witty and creative by next week - you know, when I have to sneak to blog because Satan is around!! Ha! Have a great weekend!