Ok, help me out here - I'm sure all of us have been grounded at one point or another while we were growing up. And from what I remember, you were just that - GROUNDED. When an airplane is grounded, it can't take off. When a child is grounded, they can't take off either - or so I thought.
I had the dubious privilege of grounding my nine year old daughter last Friday for mouthing off and having a bad attitude. (We won't go into details - but I doubt I'd be around to write this had I spoken to my parents the way she spoke to me) I believe my exact words were, "That's it - you are grounded for one week!" Once my blood pressure dropped from the dangerously high level it had reached due to my anger, I more calmly informed my angel that her attitude was unacceptable and if she planned on reaching 10, she had better work on changing it. Funny thing was, she didn't argue or whine about the grounding at all, and actually apologized. This made for a very relaxing Friday night after all, we both were able to catch up on some tv watching and got to bed at a reasonable hour - at least for a Friday night.
Saturday morning came, and we had her Bowling Banquet, after which we hung out in the lounge (that's where the banquet was - I do not allow my daughter to frequent lounges just yet). As we left the bowling alley to go home, my daughter asked if she could have a friend over. Ok, here starts the tricky part - try and keep up. Without missing a beat, I replied, "No, you are grounded, remember?" She then asked if she could go to a friend's house. Thinking my daughter may not have heard me properly, I reiterated my first response, a bit more loudly. From there, I was barraged with other requests, all involving leaving the house or going to a friend's house. Some were actually quite inspired: "How about my friends come here and we pretend they aren't really here?" I finally got so tired of answering no, I just stopped answering altogether. Which lead to a multitude of heavy sighs and rolled eyes. BUT - we did stay at home, and so her grounding remained in effect.
On Sunday, when we were getting ready to visit my grandparents, she once again asked if "when we got home" she could go to a friend's or have a friend over. I looked at my still-dripping-from-the-shower child and replied, "No." Common sense, right? I mean, the child is GROUNDED. And we already established the definition - or so I thought. Just to make sure, I patiently explained - "When you are GROUNDED you do not GO places, you do not HAVE friends OVER. You are GROUNDED." At which point she plopped her wet little butt on the couch and stated, "Fine. If I am GROUNDED, and I do not GO places, I am not going to Great Grandma and Poppop's house." (note: Just so we are clear, I really WANTED to beat the hell out of this disrespectful, arrogant child. But I would've gotten arrested, and besides, I am basically a very nonviolent person.) Through gritted teeth, I replied "You get your little ass off that couch and go dry your hair - you are GOING to Great Grandma and Poppops' house!" I think I may have morphed into a demon or something at that point, because she did just that. Again, rest of the day - uneventful.
Finally we came to Monday. I picked her up from aftercare and she wrote me a nice letter telling me how good she has been being and how she promises not to have an attitude and how sorry she is for having an attitude before. Lovely letter, until she got to her actual point: "So can I ride my bike with Kara when we get home?" WHY DOES THIS CHILD NOT GET IT???? AM I GOING INSANE???? YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR ONE WEEK. YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR ONE WEEK. YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR ONE WEEK. THAT IS ENGLISH, RIGHT??? (Ok, Deep Cleansing Breaths) "No, Lexie, sweetheart, you cannot. You are grounded, remember?" This led to a major hissy fit, where my daughter informed me that I am not following the Rules of Grounding, that my rules are not fair. (????)
Ok - here it is - apparently, when you ground a child, you may only ground them from ONE specific thing. i.e. "You are grounded from seeing your friend Kara." Now, this particular grounding would mean that although she may not see Kara, she may call her on the phone or go out and ride her bike, but if she should happen to see Kara, she must turn around and avoid her. Of course, she can see any other friends she likes. Another grounding would be "You are grounded from riding your bike." Self-explanatory - as long as she is not riding her bike, eveything else is a-ok. Including sitting on her bike, because she is not actually riding it. And any grounding is automatically lifted if the proper apology is given. Apparently her apology, explicit and in writing, should have immediately lifted her grounding, or at least part of it.
This is the part where I should have hugged my daughter and told her I loved her - NOT!!! I told her that was the STUPIDEST thing I ever heard and if she ever tried to use that logic on me again, she would be grounded FOREVER. Or until the grounding rules change again. Whatever.
All I know is that parenting is much more frustrating than I ever thought it would be. I bet my parents are glad I was such a well-behaved child.
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