Monday, December 29, 2008

Catching Up

So I was just discussing "TBOTE" yesterday with a friend, and was shocked to learn it has been almost a whole year since my last chapter. I suppose I could sit here making excuse after excuse, the least of which would be that since I actually was (past tense, mind you) corresponding with Kevin briefly I was a bit thrown off writing about the past... I was trying to forget it, actually... and dredging it up, even for the sake of fame and fortune, was NOT a good idea then. But now it seems I feel the need to put my thoughts to paper (or computer, as the case may be) once again. No "TBOTE" today, but more than likely soon.

Today, I am compelled to write about several events, both good and bad, that have occurred over the past few months, all of which relate to past posts. There probably aren't many of you left who have even read them, but for those who are and on the off chance there is a new reader out there, as well, I will add links. So let's begin.

First off - good things! Remember way back when I decided that I deserved a shower? Whether or not I got married? Well, guess what? I GOT ONE!! And it was wonderful! About a month before my big 4-0 (yeah - guess I ought to change my "30-something" profile write-up, huh?) I had the shock of my life when I walked into what I thought was my cousin's graduation party. All my aunts and cousins were there, and of course my mom and my grandma, too. Lexie was surprised, too, apparently it was decided she probably wouldn't keep the secret too well. I can't even tell you how touched I was and how special and loved I felt. MAJOR waterworks, people. I always have been a sap. But in a nutshell, it was wonderful and fun and the best shower EVER! And? Awesome stuff for my house!!!! (Sorry, Amber, no extra mixer - hopefully you got one at your REAL shower!) I highly recommend a shower to anyone who hasn't had one. Really. Best. Party. Ever.

And on to some sad news. Tandy? The old friend who I dreamt about on a regular basis? Well, a couple of months ago, I had another dream. And for the hell of it, I googled him. Lo and behold, I got a hit. But what I read made my heart drop. Apparently, he had been living in a shelter for quite some time. And one of the workers had written a nice paragraph about him on HIS blog - saying how Tandy was such a great guy, and had this contaigous laugh, and was really doing well.

But then, last weekend, he got a text message from a friend that said Tandy had died the night before.

There was a link to an article about him that I read with tears falling unabashedly down my face. Even though I hadn't seen him in over a dozen years, I still felt so much pain. Especially after reading the article. He was alone. He had nothing. He struggled with addiction and was moving forward - and was optimistic about the future. But he died. And I could've been there. He was right in the city, not twenty minutes away. All this time I had been looking for him, sending letters to every damn "Tryon" listed in his hometown of Terre Haute, IN for God's sake, and I wind up finding him five freaking months after he dies. It all just seemed so unfair. But I have to believe that there was nothing I could've done... and hope that maybe the dreams will now be happier and less desperate...

Finally, it looks as though it is only a matter of time before my beloved Poppops is... is what? I don' t even know how to say it eloquently. So I'll just say it. He's dying. And it has been scary how fast he deteriorated. Just a month and a half ago, he was still talking and laughing and just being Popppops, now he is in a hospital bed in his living room, with his head back, mouth open and eyes closed... He's not even Poppops anymore. I wish God would be merciful and just take him now. He can't be happy as he is. Although the loss will be difficult - hell, it will be almost unbearable, I really feel like he is already gone. And I already miss him terribly. Here and here are two links about him. God bless Popppops.

So that about sums up the major life issues of late. Sure, there are a ton of minor stories I could've (should've) shared, and I regret not doing so. But hopefully I'll keep my ass in gear and write more. Because I need to. And because I have a feeling 2009 will be bringing LOTS more to write about. So give me ONE more chance... ok???

1 comment:

Alice said...

HELLO!!!!

oh d, i'm so sorry about tandy and your poppops :-( i know what you mean, how losing him will be awful but it still seems like the lesser of two evils right now. it was the same with my nana.

i hope we hear from you again SOON young lady...!! ;-)