Little Girl Lost

So I just did one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do as a parent... And it didn’t even involve my own child. Well, I guess indirectly, it did, since Lexie was the one who gave me the information. Information that gave me a cold chill down my spine. See, she had heard something about one of her old friends who was a couple years older than her. This girl had lived in our complex, and I knew her and her mother well. Her mom was a single parent like myself, also working two jobs and doing the best she could. She also had a son who is Lexie’s age, and he was the one who told Lexie - his sister was doing drugs. And he was pretty sure it was meth.

Lexie was really upset by this news. Although she didn’t see A as much as she used to, she was once a good friend, and Lexie was well aware (thanks to MY past life experiences) of how drugs could completely ruin someone’s life. She was really worried about her. And angry at her. And confused as to why she was using. And she asked me what I thought.

I thought I should tell mer mother.

Lexie answered with a resounding “NO!” as I was expecting, so I convinced her I wouldn’t tell anyone. But I knew in my heart that I HAD to. And that it wouldn’t be easy. No one wants to hear anything bad about their children, and to tell C her daughter was doing drugs? I really wasn’t sure how to go about this. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure I should even say anything. But then I started to think: what if it was Lexie? Would I want to know? Damn right I would. And what if, God forbid, I said nothing, and A OD’d? Or got arrested? Or wound up in the hospital? Could I live with myself knowing I could’ve maybe done something to stop her? No way.

Lexie wound up giving me more information, things she was hearing from other kids. And she showed me A’s My Space, as well as A’s new best friend’s My Space. A looked nothing like the girl who used to hang around our house two years ago. The girl I saw on the computer screen looked a little like the anorexic Olson twin - all huge eyes with lots of makeup and bony angles. And her best friend S was worse. Not so much in the looks department - but she openly posted “I Like BLUNTS!” and “Fuck Everything - I Don’t Care!” and “I like to party all night and I love girl fights!” Ooooh, that SO sounds like someone I would want MY daughter to be best friends with - NOT!

A bit more digging into A’s profile showed her current mood was “hungover” and one of her favorite things was “to smoke the reeeeeeefer! And anything else except cigarettes!” Did I mention this girl had just turned 15? Not even a sophomore in high school yet. It was breaking my heart.

I made up my mind that I would call C. And ask her to meet me so we could talk in person. Only, that’s not what happened. See, the only number I had was her work number, and I really didn’t want to tell her at work, so I left a chipper message saying I missed her and we should get together for dinner or coffee and talk. Like tonight. And to call me. I guess I was a bit TOO chipper, because right away, when she called back, she asked “What’s wrong? Is it the kids?”

I broke out into goosebumps and took a deep breath.

“Dasi, please! What is going on?”

I felt my eyes well up. I am a huge sap, and anything even remotely emotional brings on the waterworks. And THIS was emotional. I was about to tell this woman, my friend, that her daughter was in trouble.

“It’s A,” I told her.

“Oh, my God,” she breathed. “What did she do?”

In a shaking voice, I told her what no parent wants to hear. That I was pretty sure A was doing drugs. That her son told Lexie. That A’s best friend was ANNOUNCING her drug use on her My Space. And that I was worried to death about A.

“I had no idea,” she replied when I finished.

I felt horrible. For being the one who told, the bearer of bad news, the messenger who always seems to get blamed. But C continued on.

She said she had been working extra long hours, that things were really difficult financially, that they had been having issues with her ex-husband. That A had been going out all the time, and coming home only to go straight to her room and lock herself in. That she didn’t like A’s new friends, especially S, and she had been on A to find new friends. That A insisted S and the rest of the group were “really nice people.”

And she thanked me.

We talked a little more, I gave her passwords to get onto My Space and look at her daughter’s profile, as well as S’s, with the promise that she would tell A a coworker hacked her into the site. I obviously didn’t want Lexie to be brought into this at all. She swore that would never happen. And she told me how glad she was that I told her. That now she could talk to A and try to help her, try to get through to her. That now she would pay more attention and be there for her more.

Then I told her about one of the pictures on A’s My Space that solidified my decision to call her - it was of C and A, and the caption read “I Love My Mom!”

“Thank you,” she said again, more quietly.

I really believe that C can get through to A. I think A is just going through a really difficult phase. At least, I hope so. But I told C that we would still have to get together, because after all, she IS still my friend, even though we haven’t seen each other in a while. And that if she ever needed ANYTHING, to please call me. And to let me know how things go with A.

She promised.

And I hung up. Feeling a little sad about the little girl I knew who was now heading for disaster - and hoping it was somehow now diverted. But also feeling an overwhelming sense of relief, because I did the right thing, and now the rest was out of my hands.

Keep your fingers crossed for A, will you all?