This is Really Getting Old...

When did writing become a chore rather than something I enjoy? I’ve never been good at doing what I’ve been told, and when I feel like I HAVE to do something, it ultimately becomes something I no longer want to do. I know that technically there is no one standing over me forcing me to write, but still – I feel almost as though there is. So the words still won’t come.

It’s actually scaring me a little… because writing is the one thing in life I know I can do – and do well. If I lose that, then what?

I may be unemployed as of January 1st, which actually would be preferable by me than the alternative: continuing working through the end of March but then receive no severance. At least if a transfer happens on 1/1, I would get my three months’ severance and have that time to find something new. And maybe rest. And maybe write.

I don’t think I am depressed – on the contrary, I am too blasé about the thought of being unemployed to be depressed. Actually, even if I lose my day job, I’ll still be employed. Waitressing may not be my career of choice, but it’ll do if it has to temporarily.

I think my mind is just on overload right now. That has to be it. Between work, work, Lexie, the holidays, and the drudgery of daily life there doesn’t seem to be an unoccupied space in my creative genius of a mind right now. I’ll need to make some room in there soon…

And I truly appreciate all your kind words and thoughts while I am in repose – even though I am also slacking in the comments department, I still am reading all of you regularly. And still enjoying every word I read.

So… I guess this is just another poor excuse for a post. My apologies – again.