I… just… can’t… DO IT!!!!! I don’t know why, but I just CAN’T write more TBOTE. At least, not now. I mean, it’s all there (duh – I lived it), I just can’t get it on paper. Or blog, for that matter. I guess this is my first very severe case of writer’s block. Thank God I am not under some sort of deadline or I’d really be screwed. I realize I am letting people down, and that I am sooo overdue on a chapter it is bordering on pathetic, but it just isn’t happening. Every time I read the last chapter I wrote, I just sit there and stare at the last sentence and think, “Ok, here we go…” only, nothing happens. Maybe if I stop trying so hard… In any case, I have a feeling this may take some time. Sorry, but that’s the chance you take when you read a work in progress – the possibility that there is no progress!! Sigh. This really sucks.
Things are NOT looking very good at the office, either. Nice attorney has packed up everything in his office and asked me if I could help him transfer all his files onto a disc from the hard drive. Ummmmm, sure… You going somewhere, buddy? He wasn’t very straightforward, but did mention that he had nowhere near the amount of money Satan wanted for a buyout. Then he asked me when his last check would be if he worked through the last day of the year. Definitely NOT a good sign. The fact that I am covered for at least three months is nice, but three months isn’t all that long in the grand scheme of things. And then there is the worry that if nice attorney leaves on the 31st, Satan will expect me to do M’s work, my work, AND nice attorney’s work (what I can do without a law degree, at least) so he can wrap things up here – and tell me in advance I’ll be gone in three months, which would keep me working until the bitter end with (technically) no severance at all. THAT would really suck. And yet? Not really feeling the stress right now. I’m probably in denial or something.
RL is still going well, although I seem to have a problem with the busboys. Vicious circle, actually. See, when I started my actual serving on my own, I wasn’t making a whole hell of a lot since I could only have two tables at a time. Hence, I only tipped out the busboys the minimum. Apparently they now think that I am a cheap bitch, and make no effort to help me out at all – I essentially wind up doing everything “busboy-ish” except for wiping down the table. Which pisses me off, and makes me continue to tip them minimally. And I’m assuming that pisses them off, so they continue to not help. See what I mean? I tried talking to the one decent busser (who I tip well since he is so AWESOME) and according to him, I shouldn’t worry, because most of them are lazy kids anyway. So I guess I’ll just keep busting my ass and keeping ALL of my tip money myself. Whatever.
On a final note, I actually did it. I cut my hair. Well, I didn’t cut it, but you know what I mean. Just about ten inches off – it’s now just past my shoulders. So it is still “long,” just not ridiculously long. And I love it. If I ever get a decent picture taken, I’ll post it so you all can see.
Well, that’s about it, I guess. Satan is due in any minute, and I should do some actual work while I still have a job, I guess. Kind of funny, really, since I am starting to care less and less about the work that has to be done since it seems it’s all coming to an end, anyway… Oh well. I guess I should look on the bright side – maybe I’ll recover from my writer’s block if I’m unemployed and bored… or maybe I’ll just start watching even more tv…
4 comments:
Ya know, I think there's a winter doldrum settling in. Too many things to think about to actually accomplish anything. This, too, will pass. (I hope!)
Don't worry about the writing. It will come to you. If you just relax and don't try to force it. Plus, just do some writing of some kind to keep the juices flowing. Blogs are good for that.
First of all, your chapters are always worth the wait, so it's ok if you can't write right now.
Second of all, I lost my job a few years back when the owners decided to close the place. Even though I loved the work and the people, surprisingly, things are much better now. It was like getting a swift kick in the pants to leave that comfort zone and move on to bigger and better things.
Maybe the job change experience will be a great subject for a second book! Best wishes to you.
yeah, i think when you let yourself off the hook with the writing obligation it starts to come back around. it's like chasing something really slippery...uh, or something.
as for waitressing. i give you a lot of credit. i was the WORST waitress ever. even though i tried. i was really bad at it. it's very hard work. and as a second job, no less. go you!
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