Unexpected Changes

So yeah, I guess I have some issues that need to be addressed. I really shouldn’t post blogs without resolutions if I plan on being on “sabbatical,” sorry! So – I start training at Red Lobster tonight. I am actually very nervous since it HAS been almost 20 years (10 since actually waitressing) and I keep replaying horrible scenarios in my head, such as dropping things, getting too overwhelmed, or fellow employees hating my guts. Hopefully none of those things will happen, and training will go smoothly.

Second, the car. I went to see my Prince Charming Mechanic, and he checked out my engine (hee hee – that sounds kinky – but really, it was the car’s engine…). He told me it is running smoothly, and it is probably my O2 regulator, something that doesn’t even have to be addressed immediately. He said it may stall occasionally but it won’t hurt the engine or blow up or anything, and I could bring it back for him to check out at my convenience. That it’s probably just a matter of cleaning it out and sending me on my merry way. So I will probably do that in the next few weeks when I have time. And I will keep dreaming of the pretty new Toyota RAV4 I really really want to buy come tax return time.

My birthday was nice – quiet, but nice. No big bar bash this year. Pretty low key. My girlfriends from the bowling alley (AKA the “bowling moms”) took me to dinner on Friday and I was home by 11:00. Then on Saturday I went to dinner with my mom, my bro, and Lexie. Erik was a little under the weather, so my sis-in-law had to stay home with him. We had a really nice dinner at Harry Caray’s, and I even had a steak bone to take home for Cute Neighbor’s dog. Like I said, really low-key. But I think as I get older, I appreciate that more sometimes. Not really up for doing shots and puking all night, you know?

Believe it or not, Satan gave me a decent bonus on Thursday, which shocked the hell out of me (no pun intended). He sat me down and told me how much he appreciated all my hard work, and what a great job I was doing since M left. I was pretty pleased, and of course the extra cash came in handy big time. Then today he calls me back into his office to tell me that he may be closing the office in three months. I sat there with a frozen grin on my face – because he HAD to be kidding, right? Guess not. He has decided he wants to stop practicing, and has offered the other attorney J the opportunity to take everything over. Problem is, J may not be able to do so, financially or otherwise. Supposedly, Satan is still uncertain to the long term future, but assured me that no matter what, I would get either a three month notice or a three month severance if he closes and J doesn’t take over or doesn’t keep me on. Of course, he stressed that J would certainly want to keep me since I am such a stellar employee, but it depends on lots of unknowns at this point. “In two weeks, I should have a better idea of what will happen,” he tells me. Wonderful. So in two weeks, I can justify this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Apparently, J had no idea this was going to happen either. He is a super sweet, great guy who has two sons in college and a daughter in high school. I know this is totally stressing him out as well, and honestly? I have no clue if he would even WANT to own the practice. He told me he will keep me updated and be as up front as possible, which I appreciate. Now, in the big picture this should be a blessing in disguise, since I have said all along how much I can’t stand Satan etc etc., but there are other things to consider. First of all, I would never ever find another legal position close to home that paid what I make now. Satan may be an asshole, but he does pay well. So that would mean I would have to find a job downtown, which would kill my waitressing job since I’d never be back here in time to work at RL. Plus, it would be a real pain in the ass to be downtown and be so far from home. The ideal would obviously be for J to take over and for us to run the office together and work happily ever after, but I have this really bad feeling that he will wind up heading downtown as well.

Just what I need, right? New stress just when I think things are going my way. It figures.

And as far as “TBOTE,” I will make no apologies for the fact that I haven’t written a new chapter in a month. Know why? Because even though I realize it may someday be my bread and butter – it’s not right now and I seem to be having a bit of a problem focusing on things other than working and cars and money and bills. I will definitely write more chapters, but I can’t make any promises as to when at this point. Hell, I can’t even promise when my next regular post will be. Lord knows the writing is cathartic and I should do it more, but sometimes I just don’t have it in me.

So that is where dasi’s life stands right now. I figure in two weeks when I get more news, I may feel like blogging again (heh)… then again, based on the news, maybe not. But the least I can do is let you know my employment status so you all don’t worry too much (cause I KNOW you’ll worry, right??) so I promise to let you know as soon as I do what’s going on. And in the meantime, don’t forget about me – because in the words of Arnold “I’ll be back!”