Been There, Done That... Kinda

So, lots of people (Ok, so only Cheryl and Alice - since I think they are the only ones who read anymore...) have been asking me lately about a comment I received on my blog from an author. A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING author. Who wanted to know if I was interested in contributing to his latest book. I know, pretty cool, right?

Only, his books are kind of like the "Chicken Soup" books. And my writing tends to be a bit on the "un-sentimental" side, if you know what I mean. At least usually when I write about my daughter. And he was looking for touchy-feely mom-daughter stories. So, not one to pass up an opportunity regardless of how slim, I e-mailed him several of my posts involving my daughter. I think this one is the only one that may possibly be considered, but even that would be a stretch, what with the drug references and all. But who knows, maybe he's a good editor too and could tweak it to make it more appropriate... In any case, I haven't heard back from him yet, so it's not really looking good. But I didn't want any of you to worry about me, because you know what? It's ok. I mean, SOMEDAY I plan on getting my ass in gear and writing (and hopefully finishing) TBOTE. And in the meantime? Being published is soooooo old news. I'm not sure if any of you are aware, but I've already been published.

Twice.

Oh, yes, dear readers, you are reading a PROFESSIONAL. So what if my published works were done either a) anonymously or b) as part of a syndicated columnist's feature, thus being credited solely to her? The point is, I know I wrote them, and now THE WORLD will too. Heh heh heh. I am officially going public. See, I was originally afraid of the limelight the publicity from these literary works would shine on me, since I am a very private person by nature, but I feel I am able to handle it now that I am more *ahem* mature.

Ok, so they are somewhat dated material, however, I feel most things only improve over time. And really, all they prove is that I was creative and thoughtful and more concerned about killer dogs than children and enjoyed the drama of forbidden love triangles at work even way back when. Why am I tooting my own horn? Read for yourself and see:

Yes, "Feeling Sad in Chicago" was me. And see? Even Ann Landers thought I was "warm-hearted and bright." Never mind that I wanted a killer dog set free. I suppose I may kind of agree with Ann now that I am a parent, but the fact remains that even back as a teen I wasn't afraid to take a stand for something I believed in and write about it. I just wouldn't sign my real name. Come to think of it, I do believe I signed something more along the lines of "Pissed Off Teenager" or something, but apparently the Sun-Times felt their pseudonym was more appropriate.

So, on to published work Number Two:

Yes, you are talking to Rhonda. And just for the record, those names were not my choice. I would have made myself someone more creative and original - like "dasi." DEFINITELY not "Rhonda." But whatever. This was published in "Tales From the Front" in the Chicago Tribune, as you can see, only not under my name. However, I can assure you the entire article was mine, word for word. And "Mary?" She is still my best friend. "Bill," on the other hand, disappeared forever shortly after the article was published. Go figure. And? The whole scenario took place while I worked at RL in the old days. Now do you understand why I have such fond memories of the place? (heh) It's a lot different working for RL now that I am an old hag, though. Bummer.

So, there you have it. You are reading a "published author." And you have proof of it. So whether I hear back from that guy or not, I still feel pretty cool.

Wayyyyyyyy Too Early

Well, a very good morning to you all! It is 6:00 am Chicago time - and I am sitting at my desk, supposedly working, but obviously doing some much needed blogging instead. Why am I at work at the ungodly hour of 6:00 am, you ask? I'll tell you why. At 3:00 am, I rolled over in my sleep, and awoke to a strange feeling on my arm. A strange, cold, mushy feeling. That stunk. I yanked my arm away and turned on the light to confirm what I suspected: Baby had puked on my bed. GROSS!!!! Cat puke on my arm at 3 AM! Needless to say, I jumped out of bed, cursing the cat and began cleaning up the mess. And then I obviously had to throw the sheet in the wash. And scrub the mattress. And so now, I am wide awake, and decide to turn on my tivo to see if the Cubs won last night. Which they did. (That made me a little happier.) I debated going back to sleep, but since I had planned on coming in to work at 7:00 am anyway (too much work - not enough time) I figured as long as I was awake I would check the train schedule. The first train was at 4:41. AM. Which meant I could either try to sleep another hour on the dry side of my mattress, sans fitted sheet, which was in the wash - or watch a little tv, get ready, and make that 4:41 train.

I realized if I did try to sleep, odds are I would DEFINITELY not want to get up again in an hour. So I watched "Intervention," got myself dressed et al, and left home at about 4:15.

It was still dark out. Weird.

Once I was on the train, I realized I had forgotten to turn my alarm off - which was set to go off at 4:55. Apparently Lexie slept through it, since I didn't get a panicked call to my cell. I hope it stops ringing before I get home tonight...

And since I was mad at Baby, I deliberately didn't feed him. Ok, now stop with your judging! I realize that poor Ace had nothing to do with the cat puke, and that withholding food is a bit on the cruel side, but I was pissed. And besides, they still had food left from yesterday. They'll live. At least I didn't throw him out the window, which is what I REALLY wanted to do. (Just kidding, Alice - I would NEVER hurt my boys!!)

You know, the city is actually pretty neat at sunrise. All quiet, and comfortably cool. There aren't a brazillian people walking along with you down the street, racing to get to the office. The people that ARE awake and out are just kind of strolling, taking their time, enjoying the morning. It was nice.

But I still probably won't come in this early ever again. Cause I only just got here, and I am tired already. Which really sucks. I may just have to use my comp time to leave early and get some sleep. Which would totally defeat the purpose of comp time, which should be saved for a LATER date, not be used on the day you accrue it. And if I did leave early, I would probably not get the work done I came in early to do in the first place. Sigh. Good thing I have a lot of Diet Pepsi stashed here in the fridge. Gotta love that caffeine.

Anyhoo, Alice posted all about her Chicago trip on her blog. If I weren't so tired, I would add links and such, but since I AM tired, I will just tell you to check out "Alice's Wonderland" on my blogroll to see it. I'm glad she had such a good time, so did I! The bummer of it was that it was only a day, and now she is gone. Sniff! Cheryl (again- lazy- see "Places Never Planned") joined us later, and I swear to God, it was like meeting up with old friends. Although we had never met, as Alice pointed out, we have pretty much "known" each other since 2005 on our respective blogs. My brother was a little baffled at how we were all acting relaxed and normal ("Don't you feel a little weird hanging out with someone you don't even KNOW? Someone from the INTERNET?"), but as I pointed out to him, it wasn't like and Internet DATE, for gosh sakes, it was friends hooking up. I think there is a lot less stress when it is a friends thing - more specifically, a "girlfriends" thing. I mean, honestly if a male blogger buddy came to meet me, regardless of the fact that it would still be a "friends" thing, there is always some kind of tension with the whoel "guy-girl" thing, don't you agree? Anyway, bottm line, I was pleasantly surprised and thrilled that my notions of my cyber-pals were right on the mark - these people are truly friends, not just on the blog but in the "real" world too. There were no lulls in conversation, no uncomfortable silences or bored looks, actually, if I wasn't so tired, I would've stayed out all night!

I'm so glad we all got together. We'll definitely have to do it more often. Well, Cheryl and I can hook up sooner rather than later, both of us being in Chicago and all, but I hope Alice comes back soon, too! I'd give you more details on the visit, but Alice covered it pretty well, and I DO need to do some real work.

So although Alice already posted pretty much the same picture, I have to post one of my own, too. Proof positive connections can be built online! Wish me luck on staying awake today...!

Little Girl Lost

So I just did one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do as a parent... And it didn’t even involve my own child. Well, I guess indirectly, it did, since Lexie was the one who gave me the information. Information that gave me a cold chill down my spine. See, she had heard something about one of her old friends who was a couple years older than her. This girl had lived in our complex, and I knew her and her mother well. Her mom was a single parent like myself, also working two jobs and doing the best she could. She also had a son who is Lexie’s age, and he was the one who told Lexie - his sister was doing drugs. And he was pretty sure it was meth.

Lexie was really upset by this news. Although she didn’t see A as much as she used to, she was once a good friend, and Lexie was well aware (thanks to MY past life experiences) of how drugs could completely ruin someone’s life. She was really worried about her. And angry at her. And confused as to why she was using. And she asked me what I thought.

I thought I should tell mer mother.

Lexie answered with a resounding “NO!” as I was expecting, so I convinced her I wouldn’t tell anyone. But I knew in my heart that I HAD to. And that it wouldn’t be easy. No one wants to hear anything bad about their children, and to tell C her daughter was doing drugs? I really wasn’t sure how to go about this. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure I should even say anything. But then I started to think: what if it was Lexie? Would I want to know? Damn right I would. And what if, God forbid, I said nothing, and A OD’d? Or got arrested? Or wound up in the hospital? Could I live with myself knowing I could’ve maybe done something to stop her? No way.

Lexie wound up giving me more information, things she was hearing from other kids. And she showed me A’s My Space, as well as A’s new best friend’s My Space. A looked nothing like the girl who used to hang around our house two years ago. The girl I saw on the computer screen looked a little like the anorexic Olson twin - all huge eyes with lots of makeup and bony angles. And her best friend S was worse. Not so much in the looks department - but she openly posted “I Like BLUNTS!” and “Fuck Everything - I Don’t Care!” and “I like to party all night and I love girl fights!” Ooooh, that SO sounds like someone I would want MY daughter to be best friends with - NOT!

A bit more digging into A’s profile showed her current mood was “hungover” and one of her favorite things was “to smoke the reeeeeeefer! And anything else except cigarettes!” Did I mention this girl had just turned 15? Not even a sophomore in high school yet. It was breaking my heart.

I made up my mind that I would call C. And ask her to meet me so we could talk in person. Only, that’s not what happened. See, the only number I had was her work number, and I really didn’t want to tell her at work, so I left a chipper message saying I missed her and we should get together for dinner or coffee and talk. Like tonight. And to call me. I guess I was a bit TOO chipper, because right away, when she called back, she asked “What’s wrong? Is it the kids?”

I broke out into goosebumps and took a deep breath.

“Dasi, please! What is going on?”

I felt my eyes well up. I am a huge sap, and anything even remotely emotional brings on the waterworks. And THIS was emotional. I was about to tell this woman, my friend, that her daughter was in trouble.

“It’s A,” I told her.

“Oh, my God,” she breathed. “What did she do?”

In a shaking voice, I told her what no parent wants to hear. That I was pretty sure A was doing drugs. That her son told Lexie. That A’s best friend was ANNOUNCING her drug use on her My Space. And that I was worried to death about A.

“I had no idea,” she replied when I finished.

I felt horrible. For being the one who told, the bearer of bad news, the messenger who always seems to get blamed. But C continued on.

She said she had been working extra long hours, that things were really difficult financially, that they had been having issues with her ex-husband. That A had been going out all the time, and coming home only to go straight to her room and lock herself in. That she didn’t like A’s new friends, especially S, and she had been on A to find new friends. That A insisted S and the rest of the group were “really nice people.”

And she thanked me.

We talked a little more, I gave her passwords to get onto My Space and look at her daughter’s profile, as well as S’s, with the promise that she would tell A a coworker hacked her into the site. I obviously didn’t want Lexie to be brought into this at all. She swore that would never happen. And she told me how glad she was that I told her. That now she could talk to A and try to help her, try to get through to her. That now she would pay more attention and be there for her more.

Then I told her about one of the pictures on A’s My Space that solidified my decision to call her - it was of C and A, and the caption read “I Love My Mom!”

“Thank you,” she said again, more quietly.

I really believe that C can get through to A. I think A is just going through a really difficult phase. At least, I hope so. But I told C that we would still have to get together, because after all, she IS still my friend, even though we haven’t seen each other in a while. And that if she ever needed ANYTHING, to please call me. And to let me know how things go with A.

She promised.

And I hung up. Feeling a little sad about the little girl I knew who was now heading for disaster - and hoping it was somehow now diverted. But also feeling an overwhelming sense of relief, because I did the right thing, and now the rest was out of my hands.

Keep your fingers crossed for A, will you all?