Deer Me

71 hours is too much work for any normal person in one week. But then again, I never claimed to be normal. And there I was this morning again, up at 3:30 am to exercise, shower and (hopefully) make the 4:41 train to get to work for some overtime. I stopped at the 7-11 to pick up a Mega Millions ticket - because how cool would THAT be? For ME to win $212 million? Great personal interest story, I must humbly admit - single working mom, busting her ass, picking up a lottery ticket at 4 am on her way to work... Anyway, I digress.

So obviously, I have been under a tad bit of stress lately, between working so many hours, and the usual financial bs, and raising a teenager and trying not to come down on her just because I am tired, and of course, last Friday was Poppops' birthday so he's been on my mind... But in the wee hours of the morning, I was blessed with a very calming, peaceful sign. At least, I think it was a sign. In any case, it was probably the most beautiful thing I have seen in a long time.

As I was parking my car in the empty train station parking lot, lit by soft streetlights, there was snow falling. Not the yukky slushy kind, either - the big, fluffy soft flakes. It looked really pretty in and of itself, but then I saw something moving.

It was a deer - and she was walking slowly toward the parking lot from a grassy area right in front of me. Not running, not walking apprehensively, just casually strolling through the quietly falling snow. I got out of my car and just watched her as she continued her walk across the lot to the woods on the other side. And it was the strangest thing - I really felt a sense of peace. Like everything I have been doing isn't for nothing. Like no matter how down or frustrated I got, there was still beauty in the world - I just had to slow down to look for it sometimes.

So now I am at work, sorting through the stacks of files and papers I need to get through - but I'm ok. I can only do so much, and I'll get done what I need to. And when I get home, I'll make dinner and sit with my daughter and just relax and enjoy being with her. And really, just enjoy being. Because even though life is short, sometimes you just need to stroll through the predawn snow and take it all in.