I want to write. I WANT to write. I want to write about the party I went to Saturday night, and how it was fun but bittersweet at the same time, because I’m not the same person I was all those years ago. I want to write more of my novel, I want to FINISH my novel, for God’s sake. I want to write about my upcoming reunion, and how I’m really excited to see all the people I went to grade school with, but how I’m also afraid they won’t like who I am now. I want to write about the fact that today is one of my high school best friend’s birthday, but the last time I saw her was a few years ago and we lost touch… which kind of bums me out. I want to write about a documentary I watched the other day on HBO about a girl in Canada who is a crack addict and can’t stop. I want to write about my daughter who is growing up so fast that it is killing me trying to teach her independence and yet protect her at the same time.
I want to write – but I can’t. And all these thoughts in my head are making me crazy just itching to get out, yet my fingers don’t seem to want to cooperate in the typing department. And when they DO – the thoughts get so jumbled they just don’t seem to come out right. At all.
I hate this. I really do. But I can’t force myself to write, therefore I will continue to wait out this drought and hope that someday I can get myself back on track. Soon.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Wow - It's a New Post!
Wow - I didn't realize it had been two weeks again... What's happening to me?? Is it possible to lose your creativity with old age as well as everything else? Dunno, but for whatever reason, writing hasn't exactly been tops on my priority list... Even though there ARE times I really feel like writing, unfortunately those times are usually pretty inopportune, like during a waitressing shift or while I am lying in bed. But I'm not going to apologize, because that seems like a waste of time. Like I tell my daughter, apologies only mean something if you CHANGE the behavior you are apologizing for. And I can't honestly say my bogging will increase, but I can say I will try. Anyway, enough of the small talk.
I didn't quit RL, actually, in talking to the GM I got the write up rescinded and was told that it is "refreshing" to have an employee actually approach the situation with maturity and rationalization rather than just screaming, yelling and complaining. I think I should be flattered, but I also feel old. Actually, I liked it better working at RL when I dated the manager and never had to worry about write-ups... ;) I think the whole situation got blown way out of proportion. Matt, the writer-upper, has been extremely nice and has gone out of his way to make me happy lately. I think he may have been repreimanded for going overboard, but I also think he only wrote me up because he felt as though he needed to "flex his muscles" and remind me who is boss. Silly to get involved in a pissing match with an employee no matter what, if you ask me, but whatever. It is over and done with and I have moved on.
Satan has informed me that he shall continue his reign in Hell until November 30, so now I have an official end date. And no severance. Bummer. Although, I DO get a nice bonus if I stay at least until September 1, which I think I can manage. And he also told me that if I do stay beyond 9/1, until 11/30, that I can bring a book to read or surf the web when I have nothing to do, since it will be pretty slow. So hell (no pun intended), I figure even if I DO find a job before 11/30, I'll make sure my start date isn't until December, cause who doesn't want to get paid for reading books and surfing the net?? Especially if I won't get in trouble for it if I get caught!! ;) Things have been pretty crazy around here lately, though, since he is (yay) leaving for his annual two week spring vacation on the 26th. So as he has done every year at this time, he is dumping ridiculously large loads of work on me and expecting the impossible as far as getting things done. Actually, I really SHOULD be working on files instead of blogging right now, but he isn't in yet, and lately if I feel the need to write and I have the time I need to just DO IT. besides, what's he gonna do, fire me? HA!
Oh my. I actually do have a few really interesting things to share with y'all, but I think I will wait just a bit. A few client stories from here in Hell, tales about grammar school reunion planning, and of course cute nephew and wonderful/impossible daughter stories. But like I said, those will wait. And hopefully keep you coming back. Well, the promise of those stories and the hope that one day you'll see a new Chapter should keep you checking in for I figure a couple more months, right? (I know, I know, BAD DASI. "TBOTE" has officially hit a major roadblock. What can I say? I'm workin' on it!!) Have a great one, later!!
I didn't quit RL, actually, in talking to the GM I got the write up rescinded and was told that it is "refreshing" to have an employee actually approach the situation with maturity and rationalization rather than just screaming, yelling and complaining. I think I should be flattered, but I also feel old. Actually, I liked it better working at RL when I dated the manager and never had to worry about write-ups... ;) I think the whole situation got blown way out of proportion. Matt, the writer-upper, has been extremely nice and has gone out of his way to make me happy lately. I think he may have been repreimanded for going overboard, but I also think he only wrote me up because he felt as though he needed to "flex his muscles" and remind me who is boss. Silly to get involved in a pissing match with an employee no matter what, if you ask me, but whatever. It is over and done with and I have moved on.
Satan has informed me that he shall continue his reign in Hell until November 30, so now I have an official end date. And no severance. Bummer. Although, I DO get a nice bonus if I stay at least until September 1, which I think I can manage. And he also told me that if I do stay beyond 9/1, until 11/30, that I can bring a book to read or surf the web when I have nothing to do, since it will be pretty slow. So hell (no pun intended), I figure even if I DO find a job before 11/30, I'll make sure my start date isn't until December, cause who doesn't want to get paid for reading books and surfing the net?? Especially if I won't get in trouble for it if I get caught!! ;) Things have been pretty crazy around here lately, though, since he is (yay) leaving for his annual two week spring vacation on the 26th. So as he has done every year at this time, he is dumping ridiculously large loads of work on me and expecting the impossible as far as getting things done. Actually, I really SHOULD be working on files instead of blogging right now, but he isn't in yet, and lately if I feel the need to write and I have the time I need to just DO IT. besides, what's he gonna do, fire me? HA!
Oh my. I actually do have a few really interesting things to share with y'all, but I think I will wait just a bit. A few client stories from here in Hell, tales about grammar school reunion planning, and of course cute nephew and wonderful/impossible daughter stories. But like I said, those will wait. And hopefully keep you coming back. Well, the promise of those stories and the hope that one day you'll see a new Chapter should keep you checking in for I figure a couple more months, right? (I know, I know, BAD DASI. "TBOTE" has officially hit a major roadblock. What can I say? I'm workin' on it!!) Have a great one, later!!
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