Snoop Dog...

Lexie has a boyfriend. I KNOW!! She is only 12, soon to be 13, and has a boyfriend. But before you get all judgmental on me for allowing this, let me just fill you in on a few things: First of all, a “boyfriend” in junior high is pretty much just a status symbol. There is no real dating, or kissing (however, from what I understand, there IS minimal hugging, and only between classes in school if no teachers are looking), and certainly no one-on-one time. At least, not in person. Junior high relationships are pretty much conducted online, from what I’ve learned.

See, in order to “go out” with someone, they first have to ask you. Either over AIM (AOL Instant Messaging, for those of you not that computer-savvy) or in person, but usually over AIM. Then you change your profile to show the whole AIM world that you are a couple. You know, by saying things like “I LOVE SO-AND-SO” or whatever. Then you spend ungodly amounts of time sending IM’s to the tune of “I love you!” “No, I love you MORE!” “U R AMAZING!” “No, UR AMAZING!” And THOUSANDS of smiley-face icons. Those are important, apparently.

How do I know this? Because I read her AIM log. Does SHE know I do this? HELL NO. Because then she would probably figure out a way to block the log and how can I be a good mother if I can’t read about what is going on in her life?? I realize that if I were 12 again, I would be furious that an adult (especially a parent) would stoop so low as to invade a girl’s privacy like that, but I am a mother now, and privacy is a moot point. I am much more concerned about protecting my daughter to the best of my ability and making sure she is staying out of trouble. I mean, I trust her of course, I just don’t trust anyone else. Especially Lester. Her new “boyfriend.” And, yes, laugh away, but be advised that the little rhyme I am sure you are associating with Lester is EXACTLY the reason I need to monitor her. Or him. Or both of them. Even though it is just a junior high “romance.” Sure, he seemed nice enough online, but lately he has been saying some things I am none too happy about. For instance:

“After lunch a friend of mine asked if I was goin out with u so I said yes, she said I had bad taste in girls”

and

“People say that I’m stupid bc I’m goin out with u even people I never talk to but w/e”

and

“They said that u were stupid especially since u were going out with me and that I was too good for u and that u r just using me”

Of course, he always then adds things like “But I don’t care because I LOVE YOU” and “I really don’t believe them anyway” and “You are totally not stupid.” HOWEVER - I really don’t think it is very nice to bring those things up in the FIRST place! My poor baby!! Making her feel all insecure and not good enough!! STOP DOING THAT, LESTER!! Part of me wants to sign on to AIM myself and tell HIM a little something-something. Like my daughter is WAYYYY too good for YOU, and COME ON, you are only 12, what could she POSSIBLY be using you for??? And STOP telling her “I love you” and then adding “but people tell me ur stupid.” KNOW WHAT, LESTER??? U R STUPID!!! And STOP USING THOSE MORONIC ACRONYMS!!!! AND? WHY DON’T YOU GO BY YOUR MIDDLE NAME INSTEAD OF LESTER??? IT HAS TO BE BETTER, RIGHT??

Sheesh. Sorry about that. I guess being the mother of a pre-teen with a “boyfriend” is kind of stressing me out. But seriously? He’d better watch his step. Because anyone who hurts my angel will wind up hurt themselves. GOT THAT, LESTER????

Let me tell you, it is hard reading these things and not confronting her about it. I really want to sometimes, and actually, I have on one occasion by subtly bringing up the subject while watching TV. There was a girl she was chatting with from another school who was complaining about how “Everyone thinks I have anorexia just because I don’t eat and am 5'4" and 94 pounds and I am so like WHATEVER, I am SO not anorexic!!” Ummmm, sweetie? Hello?? YES YOU ARE. So Lexie and I managed to have a talk about being too skinny (she “just happened” to ask me if being 5'4" and 94 lbs was too skinny - but of course, she doesn’t KNOW anyone like that, she was just ASKING - ha! Little does she know!) and I think I convinced her she is perfect at just the size she is. See, it’s little things like that that make reading the logs worth it. And just for the record, if she had a journal or diary - NEVER would I snoop. EVER. Unless I feared for her life or something. But IM logs? Hey, they’re in cyberspace, right? And anyone can read them, so.... Fair game.

Speaking of cyberspace and anyone reading, let’s hope Lexie isn’t reading this... If she is - hey sweetie! I wasn’t talking about YOU! And I NEVER read your IM logs, that was just a JOKE! But watch your back with that Lester guy...

HELP!!

Why is my sidebar at the bottom of the blog now?? Does anyone know??? I WANT IT FIXED!! And if anyone can help me, I promise to post more often. Well, TRY to, at least... ;)